Durarararararara
by Jenn the Cat
Summary: In the city of Ikebukuro, you can find yourself witnessing amazing things every day. Celebrities find themselves being caught up in gang violence, innocent love turns into frightening obsessions, and yaoi fangirls are forced to write non-yaoi stories. A Durarara! fanfic about nothing in particular!
1. Du

**Hello denizens of the **_**Durarara! **_**fandom! How are you? I'm doing fine myself. As you can tell, I'm new here in this section. And I like to point crap like that out by annoying the crud out of people who actually bother to read these ANs… Yeah…**

**What I have before you is probably the first ever fanfiction about nothing in particular. Yes, this fic will basically be about random shit happening. No main plot, no major conflicts; it'll be just like some of Narita Ryohgo's other works.**

**And there is in fact a reason why there is no plot. Simply to put: I made this **_**Durarara! **_**fic for the sake of making a **_**Durarara!**_** fic.**

**Enjoy the train wreck! ;D**

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><p><em><strong>Durarararararara ? ! ? !<strong>_

**Chapter I: **_**Du**_

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><p>"Alright, how about this," the enthusiastic voice of a young woman chimed in the dark Akihabara alley. "Shizuo beats Izaya to a bloody pulp one day and cripples him up so badly that even <em>he <em>starts to feel guilty." She clasped her hands together in a sign of bliss. "And for weeks on end, Shizu-chan spends all his time trying to apologize only for Izayan to cower away and call him a monster, and, and… Augh!" She squealed happily. "Ohmigod, it's pure genious!"

"I'm pretty sure you've already wrote something like that," the girl's male companion replied calmly, a sly smile intact as he leisurely spent the time playing his new dating sim video game.

The girl blinked. "I have?" She slumped a bit on her makeshift trash can seat as she tapped her chin lightly before snapping back to a cheerful disposition. "Then how about a master slave situation! Oh, one with a twist too! Izayan's a wealthy aristocrat and Shizu-chan's his lovely butler while still being the seme, and-"

"You've done that too. It was a _Prince of Tennis_ AU if I'm not mistaken." At this point, a soft and negative melody emitted off of the boy's game system, leaving him cringing at his in-game mistake.

"That too?" The girl whined before slamming her back right on to the alley's thick brick walls. "Man," she groaned. "Before you know it, Summer Comiket's going to be around the corner and I can't come up with a single new story." She began to rub her hands all over her face in frustration, her legs flailing around along with them. "This is terrible! My reputation as Ikebukuro's doujin queen is in jeopardy!" Honestly, that title was more or less self appointed on her part. Although she usually managed to sell a hefty amount of doujinshis every year, she was no where near as successful as professional doujinshi artists.

"How about you try something new?"

Quickly composing herself, she readjusted her hat and smiled on to her companion expectantly. "You're right! I've been so hung up on Shizuo and Izaya that I almost completely forgot my other Ikebukuro pairings."

Her friend stifled a slight frown.

"So should it be about you and Dotachin? Oh, no, you got a bit mad the last time a doujin with you sold really well, didn't you?… Oh, oh!" She happily hopped off the trash can with sparkles of excitement flaring in her eyes. "How about that kid with the manga name and Masaomi-kun? I've been meaning to write something with those two. Actually, come to think of it, I don't think I've actually written something with Togusacchi in it before. Hey, do you think he and Dotachin would be a good pairing? Well Walk-"

"Hey, hold on!" With one of his hands held up, halting her to stop, his other still held firmly on to his gaming system. A sweet, but digital melody soon sounded into the air and was followed with the sound of a giggling anime character.

His friend frowned as she placed her hands back on the trash bin and leaned back. "What is it, Walker?"

"That's not what I meant with trying something different. Aren't you tired of always just writing these slash pairings? Especially of people you know in real life?"

"And what's wrong with writing about the people I know? Reality might as well be fiction if fiction can be a reality. The slash pairings from anime I always see are way too overdone to really be enjoyable anyway. If I use people only _I _know, it feels more fresh."

"But-"

"Besides," she pointed towards Walker. "_You're_ always writing me with Dotachin. And you've got at least one story where I'm with Celty. What you're doing isn't exactly too far off from what I'm doing."

"No, Erika, listen. What I mean is maybe you should try writing something _new_ new. Something you haven't really tried before."

"Says the guy who's still writing the same Madoka/Homura fan fictions over and over again," Erika retorted plainly.

"Hey, don't use that as an example!" Walker tensed. "Those two were practically _made _for each other! I can't help always writing stories about a perfect couple."

"Exactly how I feel about Shizu-chan and Izaya," Erika hummed dreamily, her eyes shut in bliss.

"Wait, listen," Walker sighed. He had to compose himself for a bit before continuing his small lecture. "How about you try something normal. No lemons, no yaoi; just a straight out story."

Erika gave Walker a blank stare. She blinked at least five times before moving her hands over to her hips and producing an annoyed expression. "Is that some sort of insult against my love of yaoi? Are you even aware that most of the stuff sold at Comiket is yaoi? Honestly, and you just went and defended your yuri obsession back there."

"But can you do it?" There was a long string of silence. "Writing a normal story I mean? Maybe even without romance?" Another.

Erika made a sly grin and slowly rested her arm on to the trash bin. "Is this a challenge of some sort? What do I get if I win?"

Walker tapped on his chin for a minute before answering. "How about the new _Junjou_ reprint coming out? I'll buy you the whole set."

"I saved up for those ages ago," she giggled. "You're going to have to try harder than that."

"Okay, how about whatever you want at Comiket?"

"Don't you do that for me already?"

Walker sighed. "Okay…" He snapped his fingers into a brilliant grin. "How about those _Hetalia_ coin figures? The ones you always forget to buy when they're in stock."

Erika's ears perked. "I'm listening." It sounded as if she was expecting more.

Walker tapped his foot on to the ground rapidly before producing another answer. "Okay, the coin figures _and _a _Tiger and Bunny _figure?"

Erika's eyes shot open in shock. "You can get one?" She gaped. "Those sell out, like, as soon as they're out!" She proceeded to eye him suspiciously. "You're not pulling my leg, are you?"

He smirked. "Hey, I've got a pretty good source, you know."

With a grin to rival that of a certain cat, Erika squealed as she leaned back on to the trash bin yet again. Her hands held on to her arms tightly as she began waving her body around. "Throw in the newest _No. 6 _novel and you've got yourself a deal!"

"You seem really confident in yourself," Walker laughed lightly at his friend's enthusiasm.

"Hey, I've written _tons_ of stories before. What's a little normality?"

"Alright," he smirked again. "But if you _can't _do it, I get something, right?"

"Fine. What do you want?"

"Buy back all the _Megame Magazine_s that you loaned out and never gave back."

"That's it?"

"_With_ the freebies!"

"…"

With Walker still smirking slyly, Erika proceeded to playfully push him towards the walls before skipping away. "Come on. The last train to Ikebukuro is about to leave. We have to give Saburo those CDs before he starts to think we cheated him out."

"Hold on, I'm at a flag point right now," Walker quickly stammered as he quickly went back to his neglected game. After rushing through a few boxes of dialogue, he glanced over to Erika's direction and took notice that she wasn't bothering to wait for him for once. Staring back at the game screen with pained hesitation, he slipped the game into his pocket before dashing up towards Erika. "So," he breathed. "We have a deal then, right?"

"Oh please. It's a challenge I won't lose at. Of course we have a deal!"

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><p><em>Accelr8Bishie has entered the chat.<em>

_Accelr8Bishie_: (Aww, is it just you again? : ( )

_A_Certain_1ndex333_: (Sorry.)

_Accelr8Bishie_: (Hey, no need to apologize. It's their faults. How do they expect to have a good roleplay thread if no one but us are ever here?)

_A_Certain_1ndex333_: (I think they all jumped fandoms by now. Our Last Order's even started up that _Star Driver_ thread.)

_Accelr8Bishie_: (What? _She _started it? That traitor!)

_Accelr8Bishie_: (Anyway, can you help me out a bit? You've written non romancey fics before, right?)

_A_Certain_1ndex333_: (That's right. Can't write romance worth a darn. ^_^)

_Accelr8Bishie_: (Sweet. So can you help me with my doujin?)

_A_Certain_1ndex333_: (Sure. What's the plot?)

_Accelr8Bishie_: (Haven't decided.)

_A_Certain_1ndex333_: (What series?)

_Accelr8Bishie_: (Haven't decided.)

_Accelr8Bishie_: (Hey, are you still on?)

_Accelr8Bishie_: (Hello?)

_A_Certain_1ndex333_: (Sorry. There's really no way I can help you.)

_Accelr8Bishie_: (Eh? There's got to be something!)

_A_Certain_1ndex333_: (Sorry, I have to go. It was nice talking to you.)

_Accelr8Bishie_: (Hey, don't just leave me hanging!)

_Accelr8Bishie_: (?)

_A_Certain_1ndex333_ _has exited the chat._

_Accelr8Bishie_: (Fine. Be that way. : ( )

_Accelr8Bishie_ _has exited the chat_.

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><p><strong>I don't know. Does Erika seem OOC?<strong>

**Well, I hope at least some people thought this was worthwhile. I'm trying my best to make this the most self-satisfying fic I can make so I have absolutely no clue about you guys. If you did happen to like it so far, please drop a review. ^_^**


	2. Dura

**A relatively short chapter, but at least we got some more characters to the mix. Basically, I'll be introducing some random storylines and adding on to them. I promise there'll be an ending though!**

**And a word of warning: This fic may or may not contain light novel spoilers.**

**And thanks to those who liked and faved my story so far. : )**

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><p><em><strong>Durarararararara ? ! ? !<strong>_

**Chapter II: **_**Dura**_

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><p>In the course of only one year, Shizuo Heiwajima had managed to go through almost a third of the odd jobs available in Ikebukuro. Each time, he promised himself that he wouldn't let his anger get the better of himself. Remember, the customer is always right!<p>

_Except when they're fucking wrong!_

No matter how long he'd try to endure their stupidity, it always ended with his nails leaving deep marks of frustration on the counter, at least a few calls for an ambulance, and a room that was once perfectly neat and organized left in ruin. The worst he'd ever done was probably in that one supermarket. Food had flown everywhere to the point that nothing could be salvaged and the store's shelves were so broken, it was hard to believe that products once lined them. He'd usually have to pay property damage in some way or form, but it wasn't too uncommon for the manager to just let him go out of fear that their head would be next.

Honestly, the process of being hired and fired so easily had been grating right from the start. Every time it seemed to he might actually have a chance at sustaining a stable job, just one tantrum would leave him pissed and unemployed again. There had to be at least _one_ thing he couldn't screw up…

Apparently, there was one thing. Beating people into submission. His friend from middle school, Tom, was a debt collector. Needless to say, things weren't really working out for him. That's where Shizuo came in. And for once, things were actually working out. His only real aggravation from the deal was that he'd have to be dealing with idiots on a regular basis.

Idiots like this guy.

Tom and Shizuo stood silently in front of a small run down complex near the edge of the city. At least one would assume it was run down judging by the looks of the buildings surrounding it. Honestly, no one could really tell what the house itself looked like.

Right on the grounds the yard was supposed to be, large stone bricks towered towards the sky to the point that the duo was completely shielded from the sun they would've been directly hit with. Among the bricks were large English letters painted in a threatening font and a small metallic door that was riddled all over with countless locks, chains, and keyholes. From within the fortress, an American flag stretched up even higher than the bricks themselves and blew in the air in a sneering fashion.

"The hell?" Shizuo muttered

Tom sighed and lightly placed his left hand on his forehead. "You see? This is why I hate trying to collect money from this guy."

"The hell's wrong with him?"

"Some American World War Two veteran. Keeps yelling at me to go away every time I come here. Holds a lot of anti-Japanese sentient apparently."

Shizuo scoffed. _If you hate Japan so much, then why the hell did you move here?_

"You know what?" Tom began again. "How about we save ourselves the trouble and get Vorona here instead. At least he probably won't start throwing shit at her."

"Fine by me," Shizuo groaned.

And with the small amount of time they spent there having passed, the two turned away to leave. It just wasn't worth the trouble.

Only a few feet away from the crazed building, Shizuo felt a passing itch on his back which he simply brushed away. A few moments later, it was followed by another small itch. Then another. Then another. Goddamn, how'd he get so itchy all of a sudden?

Before he could further ignore the peculiar itches, an obnoxious cackle sounded from behind. The two turned back towards the brick fortress only to notice an old man on top of the structure standing next to a small pile of rocks and laughing as if there was no tomorrow. Rocks. So _those_ were the itches.

"The heck? Is he insane?" Tom muttered.

At this point, the man continued to throw rocks while at the same time shouting insulting slurs in English. Tom made some attempts to explain the concept of debt to him, but with the rocks being thrown at him combined with the man's lack of understanding of Japanese, he gave up pretty quickly.

"Goddammit, if you're going to move to Japan, at least learn Japanese. And learn to _like _Japanese!"

"Can someone tell me why the fuck this man is even in the country?" Shizuo said all while rocks continued to be pelted towards their way. The whole time, he'd done nothing but stand calmly. Well, not really calmly. In fact, he was getting more pissed by the second.

Another rock smacked right on to his forehead. Of course it didn't hurt, but the sheer stupidity of it all made his blood rise. "Hey," he began. "Can I tear him apart now?"

"Go right ahead."

It happened all so suddenly. The small neighborhood was once haunted by the brick fortress's presence, but now was face-to-face with bright sunlight as well as piece of land ruined with broken stone bricks everywhere to the point that it resembled a decrepit temple.

With a part of the flag's torn pole in hand, Shizuo looked left and right for the old man. Hit with another rock, he dashed straight towards the direction only to lose his target again. The process continued even after they had long left the area of the man's home.

His head darting in each direction of the crowded city streets, all Shizuo could think during his search was, _How the hell can that old man run so fast? He's almost as fast as…as…_

His blood began to boil.

Tom had long since left the ruined fortress and began to make his way back to the agency's office. Even near the outskirts of the city, he could still hear the angered roar of his friend and co-worker. He shook his head. "As long as he doesn't kill the guy."

If there was one thing that Shizuo hated more than incomprehensible idiots, it was anything that reminded him of that damn flea.

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><p>A group of four lounged around in one of the back rooms of Russia Sushi. While the dirty blonde was busy bantering about a new anime he'd recently seen, a capped brunette girl rested her head on the table in deep thought, a long haired man shook a magazine with his unsteady hands and stared at it in a stressed manner, and a capped man sat silently and endured the insanity.<p>

"But the action scenes were amazing! It was like non-stop beat downs every second! I mean, I had a hard time remembering it was a harem anime."

"This…can't be. No, I should be happy for her, but…"

"… I GOT IT!… No, that won't work either, huh?"

Kyohei's left eye twitched. Things were a little more unsteady than usual today.

"Oh god, I can't believe it's actually true!" Saburo found himself shouting as he crushed the magazine and sobbed to the ceiling. The sudden outburst managed to quiet Walker down.

"What's up?"

"It's Ruri Hijiribe. She's _dating_ someone!"

"Is that all?" Kyohei responded.

"Hey, don't take it too lightly," Walker retorted. "Idols are kind of like anime characters. You can't actually reach them, but you want to be with them, so knowing the reality of things ruins the illusion."

"But whether she's an idol or not, she's a person. She can go ahead and do whatever she wants with her life."

"I know, I know," Saburo sighed. "I guess I should be happy for her, but-"

"I GOT IT!" Erika darted her head up, her fifth outburst that afternoon, and startled everyone else on the table. Her eyes looked fired up and full of determination.

…

Her eyes then deteriorated into an annoyed and tired fashion. "No, that'll end with them making out. That's no good." Once again, she rested her head back on to her arms.

Silence.

"So," Kyohei said as he picked up the last of his sushi. "What was that anime you were talking about again?"

"Oh, right!" Walker began again. "So near the end of the fight scene, the main character almost gets shot right in the stomach, but the shy girl ended up shielding him instead and then it turns out she can make force fields."

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><p><strong>Are there people still liking this? Anyone? XD Oh, who cares? I'm having a blast!<strong>

**And a random note. I really doubt Shizuo's plotline is going to last long. XD**

**If you liked it, please don't be afraid to drop a review.**


	3. Durara

**I could spend forever saying how much I'm enjoying this fic and how I enjoyed writing this chapter, but I won't. XD**

**I can also spend forever laughing at how big a failure this is at getting hits (19 on chapter 2, woot!), but I won't. XD**

**And as you'll find out as you read this chapter, there's going to be OCs mixed into the fray. Don't worry. I'll make sure they fit right into **_**Durarara!**_**'s environment and I'll avoid turning them into Mary Sues as much as possible.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><em><strong>Durarararararara ? ! ? !<strong>_

**Chapter III: **_**Durara**_

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><p>Celty Sturluson was not human. She didn't share the same senses as humans did, she didn't possess abilities a normal human would have, and most importantly, she didn't have a head.<p>

She could live with that; not being human that is. What she desperately wanted was her head.

She was a dullahan; a faerie hailing from the west. It was perfectly normal for her to go around headless, but to not have her head be beside her was her problem. With the loss of her head came the loss of her memories and her identity. It was a desperate search that has gone on for twenty years and has led her away from her highland homes and all the way to the urban streets of Tokyo.

Slowly, but surely, she's grown to live a bit without the worries of her lost memories. Through those twenty years, she's learned to love life in Japan and had begun to make a new mark in the city of Ikebukuro. It was as if she was carving a new identity to replace her old one.

Her days weren't spent on constant search anymore. She was a new person. Her past didn't have to keep tying her down anymore. She could spend day after day doing whatever she wanted.

Whatever she wanted. Wandering aimlessly wherever she wanted…

Seriously though, she doesn't have much to do anymore. In fact, things have been almost boring lately.

Today, Celty found herself taking another run on her horse throughout the city. She'd watch as people stared in awe at the sight of the Black Rider and her near silent motorcycle, she'd make quick nods along the way if she happened to pass by anyone she knew, and she'd quickly get the hell out of there as soon as the police came rolling by.

It just so happens that she'd run into them a couple of blocks ago.

"You're not getting away this time, Black Rider!" Celty whimpered as soon as she heard the head street officer, Kinnosuke Kuzuhara, bark at her. As soon as the sirens started sounding off, she paid no heed on where she was going or how fast she was. What mattered was that she gets away from those crazy cops.

_What did I even do? ! _It was a question Celty had found herself asking ever since she'd been labeled as a menace to city.

_!_

An idea crept into her. She hesitated for a bit, but shook it off quickly. It was crazy, but she was willing to try anything to get away to safety.

Leaning forward, Celty slowly increased her speed and zipped through the road at ease, the police following her every move. The growing sounds of screams from nearby pedestrians drowned out as she strengthened her concentration.

The long chase soon led the group towards one of the more beat up parts of the city. The walls were lined with graffiti and the ground was littered with stray paper and trash. It also happened to be an ideal hang out area for punks and delinquents these days. Speeding up her bike once again, she led her way into a large lot that had been recreated into a makeshift skate park. Maneuvering herself past all other obstacles, she dove straight into the ramp.

And with that, she found herself dashing across the brick walls of a building.

Some of the cops made attempts to follow after her, but all ended up failing miserably. One even broke the ramp while trying to propel himself. Celty couldn't turn back to see their humiliation though. If she screwed up now, she'd fall straight on to the ground for sure.

Eventually, Celty made her way up towards the building's roof. Using the speed she'd gained throughout the chase, she jumped her bike from roof to roof before she was completely out of sight from the cops.

Kinnosuke halted to a stop with the rest of his team following suit. He muttered a few curses before dismissing the group. He swore, he'll catch the Black Rider one of these days.

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><p>Celty was back to riding leisurely through Ikebukuro and was at a total loss of words at her recent escape. Honestly, she didn't think that would work at all.<p>

_Did I seriously ride on _walls_ back there?_ She thought. _How is that even possible?… Well, I guess if we've got dullahans riding around leisurely like this, breaking the laws of physics isn't too farfetched__!_

She was so wrapped up on her thoughts that she didn't even take notice of the road. By then, she was just a few feet away from crashing into a little boy.

The boy stood there silent, emotionless, and devoid of awareness to the world itself. It was as if he was actually waiting for a vehicle to hit him. Celty was much too busy frantically steering away from the kid to notice his blank expression.

_What's the point?_

_Is there a point?_

_Nothing happens._

_Nothing _ever _happens._

_Nothing ever will._

…_?_

The boy snapped back to reality at the loud screeching of a motorbike. Normally, he'd just brush things like this off as just another normal sound in a normal world, but not this time. That wasn't any other screech. That was a _neigh_.

Celty dashed past the boy and quickly looked back towards him as if she was shouting "sorry". Before he knew it, she was already gone from sight.

The boy stood there, speechless. What he just witnessed there was something special. Something magical. Something not of this world.

For once in his life, something had happened.

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><p>Shinra paced around in the living room impatiently. He stifled quick mutters to himself and would stop occasionally to glance at the clock.<p>

"Come on, she said she'd be back at noon. Why isn't it noon yet? Seriously, I've been waiting around forever!"

Shinra was an underground doctor who treated those whose origin of injuries were far too shady for a local hospital to handle. He normally had at least a couple of scheduled jobs to do each day, but had suddenly found his one appointment for the day to be cancelled. It wasn't like he hated to have a day off or anything. It's just that he usually spent those days with Celty. Without her, it'd just be another dull and boring day of lounging around doing nothing in particular.

Shinra cringed at the clock. "What? It's _12:02?_ She should be back by now, shouldn't she?" He shook his head. "Now, now, Shinra. It's just a few minutes after twelve. She said she'd be back at around noon. Let's be rational and give her time to get here."

…

…

…

He felt as if he wanted to rip out his hair. "WHAT THE HECK IS TAKING SO LONG? !" He's usually a lot more composed and rational than this. Really. Consider his feelings. He'd gotten up at five to get ready for his job only to find out it was cancelled less than half an hour later. The dude has literally been doing absolutely nothing for the more than six hours.

_knock, knock._

Shinra dashed to the door and swung it open with the biggest smile he had the ability to make. "Welcome home, honey!"

Then he opened his eyes.

It was Izaya.

Smirking.

"Yo."

…

_SLAM!_

"Maybe she'll be back in the next ten minutes," Shinra mumbled as he walked away from the door.

_knock, knock._

_knock, knock._

_knock, knock._

_knock, knock._

_knock, knock._

"Dammit, Izaya," Shinra groaned after opening the door once again. "Do you know how annoying that is?"

"Well isn't that what you're supposed to do if you want someone to answer the door?" Izaya replied cooly.

"Fine," Shinra groaned. "What do you want?"

"What's with the voice? Can't a guy just visit his friend?"

"No, seriously, what do you want?"

""Right, right," Izaya chuckled at Shinra's annoyed tone. "Just wondering if you have any spare medical tools lying around. You see, I've gotten into some trouble and I really need to-"

"No."

"Fine, if you say so," Izaya sighed, his face still with his signature smirk.

Shinra had then begun to take notice at his friend's current condition. There was nothing too worrisome per say, but it was obvious from his clothing that he must've done something like fall into water recently. "Why are you so wet?"

"Oh. _That_," Izaya said flatly.

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><p>It was a comical sight. While standing on the famed Rainbow Bridge, a couple with the obvious look of western foreigners glared angrily at Izaya who did nothing but give a mocking smirk while leaning on the railing.<p>

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><p>"Two idiot foreigners thought I was some tour guide or something. Thought I'd screw around with them for a bit."<p>

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><p>"<em>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<em>…"

* * *

><p>"And I screwed around with them some more…"<p>

* * *

><p>"…<em>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<em>…"

* * *

><p>"…And then I screwed around with them some more."<p>

* * *

><p>"…<em>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<em>…"

* * *

><p>"And?"<p>

* * *

><p>"…<em>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<em>…"

* * *

><p>Izaya's face grew bitter.<p>

* * *

><p>"…<em>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<em>…"

* * *

><p>"They pushed me off Rainbow Bridge."<p>

* * *

><p>"…<em>AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!<em>"

_Splash!_

"We sure showed him, huh Isaac?"

"We certainly did, Miria my dear! How about we go for some fugu now?"

* * *

><p>Izaya's usual smart aleck attitude was now replaced with that of bitter annoyance. He turned to leave without a word. Celty managed to pass him by before he left.<p>

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><p><em>KamimayuXnya has entered the chat.<em>

_GontaGontaShotaNyan: _(Hello. ^_^)

_KamimayuXnya: (_Why is it every time we start a roleplay, tons of people sign up and then we're the only ones who ever post?)

_GontaGontaShotaNyan:_ (To be fair, this show doesn't really have much of a fandom to begin with.)

_KamimayuXnya: _(Well why not? It's moe. With a catgirl! Who's a god!)

_KamimayuXnya:_ (Anyways, can you help me with my doujin again?~)

_GontaGontaShotaNyan:_ (Not until you actually figure out what you're writing.)

_GontaGontaShotaNyan:_ (Oh yeah. It turns out my flight might get me to Tokyo early.)

_KamimayuXnya:_ (Really?)

_KamimayuXnya:_ (Do you want my friends and I to pick you up from the airport?)

_GontaGontaShotaNyan:_ (No, no, it's fine.)

_GontaGontaShotaNyan:_ (We can just meet up somewhere at Ike.)

_KamimayuXnya:_ (Okies!)

_GontaGontaShotaNyan:_ (Um, are you still there? ;-;)

_GontaGontaShotaNyan:_ (Hello? ;w;)

_KamimayuXnya:_ (Can I get back to you on where?)

_GontaGontaShotaNyan:_ (Oh! Sure thing!)

_GontaGontaShotaNyan:_ (Sorry. I have to finish packing.)

_KamimayuXnya:_ (np. No one's gonna show up anyway.)

_GontaGontaShotaNyan:_ (kbye!)

_KamimayuXnya:_ (See ya!)

_GontaGontaShotaNyan has exited the chat._

_KamimayuXnya has exited the chat._

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><p><strong>Seriously though, Nekogami Yaoyorozu needs more love. XD<strong>

**If you have any questions, comments, complaints, or urges to flame, please feel free to drop a review.**


	4. Durarara

**Well guys, it's Mary Sue time! I kid, I kid. Like I said, I'll try to not turn her into one.**

**And we're also introducing Mikado into the bunch. Aoba's in there too, but I haven't really read too much of the light novel translations that center around him, so I don't really expect him to be in character. (Though I am at least familiar with any spoilers about him as well as his general personality.)**

**So with further ado, Here's another chapter of **_**Durarararararara ? ! ? !**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Durarararararara ? ! ? !<strong>_

**Chapter IV: **_**Durarara**_

* * *

><p><em>-Hey, have you guys heard? MiRAcle's a part of the Dollars! Can you believe it? There's an idol among us!<em>

_-No way._

_-That's bullshit._

_-Quit screwing around._

_-I'm not kidding. She said so in an interview! It's online!_

_-Don't believe everything the internet says, kid._

_-No, actually, she gave a quick shout out to us on one of those celebrity news shows. It's the real deal guys._

_-!_

_-No way!_

_-She probably doesn't even know what she's talking about._

_-I can see it now. She heard about the Dollars and thought it'd be cool to join._

_-Idiot can't even sing._

_-I hate that whore._

_-Has she even been to Ikebukuro?_

_-You guys are no fun. Think about it. An actual celebrity is a member of the Dollars. Someone famous. Wouldn't that mean there could be more?_

_-Come to think of it, that is kind of cool._

_-Imagine if Cyan Grace was part of the Dollars!_

_-He sings even worse. He'd put shame to our name._

_-That rhymes!_

_-Hey, don't say that! For all you know, they could be reading all this right now._

Mikado smiled. Celebrities in the Dollars? That _would _be interesting. The thought of something a nobody like him created attracting the interest of the people he admired on TV was pretty exciting.

A loud screech of agonized cats caught his attention. The old lady on the second floor was trying to give her house pets baths again. With that in mind, it looked like it was time for school.

After turning off his computer, he casually suited himself into his school's uniform and sloppily chomped on the last bit of his breakfast before heading off. It was the usual routine. Life had been normal for quite a bit, but he wasn't one to complain. Besides, having a string of normal days like this was a small price to pay for someone to be able to run a group as massive as the Dollars.

It was true. The world is kind of strange like that, huh? Even pubescent minors like him could manage to find a sense of excitement and importance in this world.

"Mikado! Hey, Mikado!"

"Hm?" Mikado turned around to see a boy about a year younger than him running and waving towards him. "Oh, Aoba. Good morning."

After catching up to Mikado, Aoba playfully smacked Mikado's back which apparently managed to startle his older friend a bit. "Was that really necessary?"

"For an upperclassman, you're just way too easy, dude," Aoba lightly chuckled.

Mikado couldn't help but frown. It was nice to be looked up to by someone younger and all, but he couldn't help but think of Aoba to be pretty annoying at times. The kid was sometimes too cheeky to be tolerable.

Their trek to school continued as Aoba began to share a meaningless tale to Mikado. It was mornings like this that reminded him that his days lately were as normal as ever. He knew he shouldn't be complaining. He's witnessed things that no ordinary person would ever dream of seeing, but with that in mind, it'd be nice if something different could happen again.

Mikado stopped to notice two girls pass by them; one mumbling angrily and the other nodding silently with a slightly annoyed expression. He knew those two. They were underclassmen in the same class as Aoba. He's heard people say that they're Izaya Orihara's twin sisters, but he honestly had a hard time believing that.

"What's up with those two?" Mikado asked.

"Oh, Mairu and Kurui?" Aoba began. "Nothing really. I talked to them before I ran into you and I guess I said something that ticked them off. Nothing too special."

"Really? What did you say?"

"That they're concept of love is flawed and stupid."

Mikado stopped in his tracks again and almost glared at Aoba. "You really shouldn't say stuff like that to other people so casually."

"What? Was I wrong? _You_ try hanging out with them and listen to them banter about their deep love for that Yuhei Hanejima guy. And they even go around _kissing_ each other in public like it's nothing!"

"I'm not sure about that," Mikado sighed as they continued on walking. "I've met some people with some pretty screwed up meanings of love. I'm sure theirs couldn't be any worse."

"Really? I'd love to hear 'em."

"I'm sure you don't."

Soon after, Aoba continued on again with his ridiculous story that Mikado only half paid attention to. They met Anri Sonohara along the way and his story went on to try to pique her interest as well. By the time they made it to the school grounds, it was just minutes before the bell. It was the usual signal that today might be just any other day.

* * *

><p>A young woman walked through the city streets in a nervous fashion. Every time she bumped into someone, she'd spend half a minute apologizing before realizing that no one gave a damn. Her shy mannerisms made her seem as if she was timid middle schooler lost on her way to her new school. It really wasn't too far off the mark. She was mostly definitely lost for one thing.<p>

"_B:Lily-Rose_, _B:Lily-Rose_, _B:Lily-Rose_…" She repeated endlessly. "Where is it?"

The directions her friend had given her online were pretty straight forward. If it were anyone else, they'd find it in no time. Unfortunately, she'd been away from Japan for so long, her sight was still trying to readjust to reading her old language.

Her eyes lit up. _Found it!_ Her long raven hair flying in the wind, she rushed straight into café.

Slowly stepping into the building, she was immediately greeted to a small chorus of "welcome home, my lady" from the café's employees. Blushing at the reception, she nervously hovered over to the woman standing right next to a podium and getting ready to find her a seat.

"Uh, excuse me," the girl began. Her voice was weak and hesitant as if she were trying a little too hard to not accidentally slip into Mandarin. "I'm actually meeting someone here."

"And who would that be, my lady?" She knew it was nothing more than a boyish woman suited to look like a butler straight out of an anime, but she couldn't help but blush.

"Um, she has darkish brown hair and she wears a dark-gray paperboy cap and dress and I think she said she'd be waiting with someone…"

"Ah, I know the one," the woman responded. "She should be at the very back of the café. I'll show you the way."

"Oh, no, no," she stammered frantically, her hands waving in front of her body. "I'll just find her myself."

"But I insist, my lady."

"No, it's okay," she continued. "I'd rather surprise them."

The woman smiled. "As you wish."

Thanking the woman, she started her way towards the back of the café with a reddened face. _Gosh, the women in these cafés look a lot more like men than I remember. I swear, she looked just like Sebastian!_

_I haven't really been in these cafes in a while. There were some maid cafes in Taiwan, but I don't know why no one ever opened up a butler café. Maybe it's because of the crossdressing staff? But they could always tweak it to just employ pretty boys. At least things wouldn't be awkward. And there were a lot of really hot guys back in Taiwan too. I wonder if-_

"SIGN A CONTRACT!"

"EEP!"

With a sudden weight pouncing on her back and a heart that might have skipped a beat or two, it was hard to blame her for falling on the ground and knocking down a vacant chair.

"Ha ha, you act just like you do online!"

"C-can you please get off of me?" She squeaked.

"Oh, right. Sorry about that." Composing herself of her laughter, she was quick to her feet and reached out her hand for her friend to stand.

"And I was thinking of surprising you too…"

"Hey, don't be so down. Come on and sit. My friend and I are treating. Order whatever you want."

"Oh, okay…"

The young woman continued to lead the girl to the very back of the café where her other friend was already seated and reading one of the light novels from the pile that sat on the table. Noticing the two approaching, he waved at them with a smile.

"So this is the famous Kanaka Tsukihara," he said as the two girls seated themselves.

"Yup," his friend grinned. "My awesome friend from that roleplay site. Well, awesomer than the people who never show up for our threads that is."

Kanaka bowed. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"This is my friend, Walker," she continued. "He's big into anime and manga too, but he sucks at roleplaying so don't even bother to try and invite him to any of our threads."

"Hey, that was uncalled for, Erika!"

"But it's the truth!"

"I…see…" She smiled. It appears her friend acted just the same as she did online.

By then, one of the waitresses had arrived. After reassuring Kanaka that she was free to order whatever you wanted, Kanaka proceeded to order one of the more expensive entrees as well as half the pastries on the menu. After gaping at her appetite, Erika quickly forced the job of payment on to Walker before he had any time to protest. They argued up until the food arrived.

"So, how have you been?" Erika smiled as she munched into the cake she ordered. "Psyched that you're back in Japan?"

"Yeah. It's really been a while. I haven't spoken Japanese in forever."

Erika glanced towards Walker. "Oh, right, let me explain. Kanaka used to live here in Tokyo and she moved to Taiwan after graduating middle school. Must've been nice to play it easy and not have to worry about high school entrance exams, huh?"

"It was nice I guess," Kanaka answered nervously after nibbling into her cake.

"Where's your apartment by the way?"

"Here in Ikebukuro. It's actually near that giant _Animate _store. I dropped my stuff there before I came here."

"Cool I'll visit sometimes. Got a job planned?"

"Um, not really… I saw a craft store that was hiring trained artisans though."

"Oh, the shop that sells things their employees make?" Walker joined in. "It's a pretty cool place. Erika and I had some of our wares sold there a few times. You should definitely try getting a job there."

"I guess… Hey, I've been meaning to ask."

"Hm?" The two perked.

"Are you guys dating?"

They both spat out their food.

* * *

><p>An accident ended up happening during a third year science class so the students of Raira Academy were dismissed early for the day. Mikado caught up to Anri as she exited the classroom, but she declined his offer for them to walk home together.<p>

"Sorry. I'm almost out of food, so I have to rush to the store before their sale ends."

"I-it's alright," Mikado stammered, trying hard not to blush. "Maybe tomorrow?"

Anri nodded with a smile before she darted off. It was then that Mikado was smacked on the back for the second time that day.

"Hey there senpai!" Aoba greeted happily.

"Hey, Aoba," Mikado said hoarsely.

"Anri's not walking with you today?"

"No, she had to-"

"Hey, you!"

Mikado jumped towards the back and noticed an angry group of third years glaring his way.

"Uh…uh." He couldn't help but freak out. _Are they talking to me?_

"Are you guys still pissed?" Aoba said with a composed expression. Mikado jolted and stared over at the unexpected sound of his younger friend's voice. "Thought you guys would run home to your mamas by now."

"A-aoba," Mikado stammered weakly. "What did you do?"

"What did you say, punk? !"

"Hey," Aoba began again as he pulled over Mikado despite his protests. "You see this guy? I'll bet you guys can't even beat him up. He could murder you if he wanted to."

"What? !" Mikado yelped.

"Oh really?" One of the thugs said as he cracked his knuckles and slowly inched forward. Mikado gulped.

"Yeah. All at once. And he could do it with his eyes closed and his hands tied behind his back too."

"What are you saying? !" Mikado shouted in horror as his kouhai continued to dig him deeper into the situation.

"I'm saying that you can beat up these pansies with nothing but a pen, that's what."

"N-no, I can't-"

"You think you're so tough, huh?" One of the thugs growled. Mikado faced the gang again with a pale face and sweat slowly dripping down his skin.

The group inched closer towards Mikado by the second. The second year made constant attempts to have them go away, but by the time their leader was face to face with him, it was already over.

"You really think you can beat me up, huh?"

"Well, no, actually, I-" Mikado turned his head, but was shocked and horrified to see that Aoba had already abandoned him.

"Well then," the thug said as he raised his fist for a punch. "I'll show you what happens when you mess with me!"

Terrified, Mikado ducked at the last minute before making a mad dash to the stairs. Before he knew it, he was already outside school grounds and the thugs were still after him.

* * *

><p>"You'll meet them next time," Erika chatted to Kanaka as the three exited the café. "They're really fun to hang out with and Dotachin's pretty cool too."<p>

"I see…" _What kind of nickname is Dotachin?_

"Oh! And can you help me with my doujin while you're at it?"

"You haven't even figured out what series to use. I don't think there's much I can do."

"Hey, you're not supposed to get outside help!" Walker pointed.

"You never said that I couldn't. Besides, I already asked her for help every time I talked to her online."

"Well if you're getting help, I'm docking off that light novel from your prizes."

"Hey! You can't do that. We had a deal!"

"You don't deserve all that stuff if you're getting outside help."

"Uh, guys…"

_"__** IIIIIIIZAAAAAAAAAAYAAAAAAAAA !**__"_

_CRASH!_

The three jolted. Right in front of there eyes, a vending machine lay on the ground with the glass broken and scattered and its sides dented. Walker didn't seem too shocked at the occurrence and Erika began squealing in joy. Kanaka was left shaking in fear.

_A…a…a vending machine? Why-why did a vending machine...? How did that…? It wasn't here before… Wh-what's going on? And did he say…?_

Another vending machine was flung in the sky and crashed right into the walls of the store across the street. Kanaka jumped again while Erika's squeals grew in volume.

"Ohmigod, yes! It's happening again!"

"Wh-what's happening again?"

"We have to get front row seats!" Erika shouted happily as she grabbed hold of Walker and dashed away.

"W-wait," Kanaka said weakly. "What's going on?" Deciding that there was nothing else she could do, she reluctantly followed after her friends. What she saw shocked her.

Shizuo growled as he snapped a street sign out of the ground. "How many times have I told you to stay out of Ikebukuro?"

"I don't know Shizu-chan? I'm pretty sure it's over nine hundred by this point."

Shizuo grew even angrier. He shouted again before running towards Izaya, ready to strike. "I'm going to kick your smarty little ass all the way to China!"

"I'd like to see you try," Izaya smirked as he ran forward with his switchblade in hand.

As the battle unraveled, Erika kept on narrating a BL scenario and tweaked it to fit exactly what was going on at that moment. Walker had to restrain her as she reached the raunchiest part and began going a bit crazy. Kanaka paid no attention to her two friends however. She just stared on in shock. "Is…that…"

At that point, Shizuo's makeshift weapon found itself slamming on to a building's wall before making a large dust cloud as it fell flat to the ground. Izaya ran while Shizuo pulled out another street sign. He made one last cry before that area of town was free of sight of the two ruffians.

_"__** IIIIIIIZAAAAAAAAAAYAAAAAAAAA !**__"_

…

Two full minutes of silence blew past the streets before everyone slowly began to return to their normal lives.

"That was so awesome!" Erika squealed.

"Why can't you put that much enthusiasm into a regular story?" Walker sighed.

Kanaka had barely spoken a word after the fight had left. Her mind was still locked on to the event that she just witnessed. And to one thing in particular.

"Don't worry about those two, alright, Kanaka?" Erika said after slipping out of another playful argument with Walker. "They do that all the time and it's rare that someone comes out injured, so I wouldn't worry about a thing."

"Did he say, Izaya?"

"Yeah," Walker replied. "That was the guy he was chasing after."

"Izaya? As in Izaya Orihara?"

"Uh, yeah," Walker answered again. "Wait, how do you know about-"

"Was that Izaya Orihara?"

"Yeah," Erika answered in confusion. "Seriously, how do you know about-"

Before Erika could finish her sentence, Kanaka was already dashing off to the direction the duo had moved their fight towards. Erika and Walker were left to just shrug at themselves while Kanaka left with an excited smile and gleaming eyes.

_It's him! It's actually him!_

* * *

><p>If one were to see this through a TV screen, they'd first be greeted by a bright and colorful sign amongst the backdrop exclaiming, "DRx7 Omake!". Some soft idle banter from the film crew would be heard from the background before one person would notice that the camera had already begun rolling and curse as everyone frantically gets back to work. Two teenagers, one a guy and one a girl, would flaunt on to the set and happily begin the program.<p>

"Hello everyone!" They shouted excitedly. "Welcome to _Durarararararara ? ! ? ! _Omake!"

"You're probably wondering what this is," the girl giggled. "It's a little after chapter commentary that will be used to explain the chapter as well as the in-story references."

"And it'll be hosted by yours truly," the boy continued confidently "and my lovely girlfriend, Saki!"

"You're such a flirt, Masaomi," Saki giggled.

"Alright, I guess we should get the references out of the way first," Masaomi sighed as he pulled out a list of the references the story had accumulated thus far. "Let's see... _Prince of Tennis_: Some shonen manga, _Hetalia: _Some weird web manga, _Tiger and Bunny_, _No. 6_... You know what?" He threw the list behind his back. "You're all those nerdy otaku type. You probably don't need any explanations, right?"

"Uh, Masaomi," Saki said uneasily. "I don't think that's how we're supposed to do our job."

"Now what we really need to talk about," Masaomi continued on as he unexpectedly put his arm Saki, making her stifle a small squeak as he pulled her over. "...is that Aoba kid. Man he's annoying. I leave the gang and the author throws in this kid for my replacement?" He sighed, placing his right hand on to his head. "But then again, it's pretty hard to find a good replacement for someone with characteristics as strong and diverse as mine."

"Oh," Saki began awkwardly. "If anyone was wondering, _B:Lily-Rose_ is an actual butler cafe in Ikebukuro and is actually the first one ever established there."

"And they've got some pretty cute chicks too," Masaomi added after removing his arm from Saki's shoulder. "I mean, they are pretty cute for a couple of girls who go around dressing like guys all day. But I bet they'd look even cuter without that get up. And this is why I prefer maid cafes!" He faced his girlfriend. "Not that I'm saying the girls at those cafes are prettier than you."

"Oh, Masaomi~"

If one were to see this through a TV screen, they'd witness a scene of two teenagers, one a guy and one a girl, shamelessly gushing about each other, and hear several annoyed groans off set from the crew, especially the cameraman, before the viewer would roll their eyes, grab the nearest remote, and shut the TV off.

* * *

><p><strong>We're jumping around quite a bit, huh? Well, there's still at least two other storylines to introduce (one of which is linked to Mikado's), so look forward to more weird jumping.<strong>

**As for why the Omake segment exists, I've actually been meaning to point out references like that, but the idea didn't originally make the cut. (It would've been hosted by Erika and Walker.) I wanted to incorporate Masaomi and Saki into the fic too, but aside from Masaomi popping up in the chat site, nothing came to mind. So here they are in their annoying puppy love way!**

**And as per usual, review if you have anything to say. Even something insulting. At least it's feedback in some way or form.**


	5. Durararara

**And here we are again. I'm really not getting that much views on this fic, huh? ^_^;**

**Well after this chapter, there's only one more storyline to introduce. And another OC is making a debut this chapter, so let's see how well he goes.**

**And just so you know; yes. The chapters are only going to get longer and longer from here on out.**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Durarararararara ? ! ? !<strong>_

**Chapter V: **_**Durararara**_

* * *

><p>He was always a strange kid even at birth. Born with white hair and ruby red eyes, he was considered a rare breed of human: An albino Japanese. While all his other classmates sported shades of raven and auburn, he was the only one that would ever be pure white. Of course he got stared at often - he was even bullied for most of second grade - but it never really bothered him. In fact, he was proud of his white hair. It meant he was different. Unique.<p>

It meant something was supposed to happen.

Every time he tuned on to an anime on TV, he'd see amazing worlds of adventure and excitement. It was every kid's dream to be able to walk in and become a part of those worlds and he was no exception. No, he wanted to _live _in a world filled of his very own adventures.

He was always so confident that he would be the one to star in a big adventure of his own. After all, the main characters of anime usually had a physical quirk that made them stand out. White hair and red eyes? He was already set!

His parents chuckled at his fantasies and brushed it off as nothing more than childish dreams he would learn to forget as time went on. It took until they witnessed their son nearly die as he tried to see if he could fly for them to take action.

All it took was one long and heated lecture from his parents for all his dreams to be shattered.

Nothing would happen.

Nothing ever will.

He was only in the third grade and he had already fallen into a deep depression. Was this really all life offered? Birth, school, graduation, a job, and death? Was there really nothing more?

His inner melancholy often led him to do idiotic things that would normally get someone killed. Maybe he was unconsciously trying to end his life. Maybe all the times he sat at the very edge of buildings, pulled out power chords as if he were in a tug-of-war contest, and casually walked through a busy street were all on purpose. He didn't care anymore. Everything in the world was ordinary and even his death would be ordinary.

But his whole world changed just yesterday.

In the course of a minute, his dreary attitude towards life flipped over to open joy and hope.

He wasn't sure exactly what it was, but he'd witnessed something magical.

And he was determined to be able to see that magic again.

* * *

><p>A young fourth grade boy sprinted out of the confines of his school and into the vast city streets in just seconds. He had a plan set out and ready to execute. If he was lucky, he'd be able to get what he wanted all while being able to return to school before recess ended.<p>

"And it was, like, completely black. I mean, I didn't see a shadow or anything! And it was riding on a motorcycle and had this yellow helmet, and, and-"

"So you're trying to find the Black Rider, eh, kid?"

"That's right!" He beamed. "It was the most amazing thing I've ever seen! I'm not gonna rest until I see it again!"

"Well that's fine and dandy, but you really should be in school, shouldn't you?"

"Nuh-uh," he shook his head. "It's recess break. I've got fifteen minutes before the teachers'll notice I'm gone."

"Really?" The old man chuckled. "I don't know. With a head of hair like yours, I think they might know you're gone pretty quickly."

"Nah, I'm usually pretty quiet. They won't notice a thing."

* * *

><p>"What do you mean he just ran out of the school? ! And no one bothered chasing after him? !"<p>

* * *

><p>"Well," the old man chuckled again. "The Black Rider drives past here sometimes, but I haven't seen him come by today."<p>

"Alright," the boy bowed before running off. "Thanks, mister!"

* * *

><p>Tom shook his head. He wasn't sure whether to be impressed or in disbelief. In less than a week, the stone brick fortress that Shizuo had completely destroyed found itself towering the neighborhood mockingly yet again. In fact, every single detail that the structure had before its decimation was still styled and placed in the exact same way. It was as if Shizuo hadn't been there in the first place.<p>

"How the heck did the old man fix it all up so quickly?" He mumbled to himself.

"Why do you keep bothering to collect money from this guy?" Shizuo asked. "It's obvious he's not interested in paying a yen on anything."

"Trust me, if I wanted to, I would've given up on him a long time ago, but a job's a job." He turned towards Shizuo. "Now how about we get Vorona to handle it this time? Save us the trouble of property damage?"

Shizuo gritted his teeth. "Damn old man was downright mocking me last time. I'm not letting him off the hook that easily."

"Shizuo, he's an old man who can't even speak basic Japanese. What good would killing him lead to?"

"Why not? I doubt anyone would miss the scumbag."

Tom shrugged in indifference. "Alright. Go ahead inside. Just try to get him to pay before you mess him up."

"With pleasure," Shizuo responded menacingly.

A normal person would find them selves spending hours on end trying to pick each lock and break each code that laid on the small metallic door. Luckily, Shizuo wasn't normal. All it took was one punch and he was in.

It was pretty eerie actually. Within the stone walls laid a small house that fell into the large shadows that the fortress created. The house was also constructed completely of stone bricks and had a nice string of barbed wire acting as a fence. If it were anyone else looking at the structure, they'd assume it was an old abandoned asylum rather than somewhere someone actually lived in.

Shizuo casually knocked on the door and watched as the door just creaked open. He stared into the house. Everything was pitch black. He could vaguely make out silhouettes of basic furniture for living.

Stepping in, he shouted for the old man to come out. If he wasn't home, he'd be forced to endure another day with the man's stupidity.

_click._

Shizuo's ears perked. Someone was definitely here.

_BANG!_

…

"Nice try, old man," Shizuo chuckled. "Now cough up your due or let me pay you back for last time by bashing your skull."

_BANG!_

Stubborn, wasn't he?

Shizuo's eye twitched. Things could never be easy, could they?

And with another gun shot that failed to deal any damage to him, Shizuo located the man's silhouette and lunged the nearest furniture at him. After hearing a small muffle from the man, Shizuo's eyes pained a bit at the sudden burst of lights. The man had stopped trying to shoot the bodyguard and had instead begun to throw an array of decorative furniture. Seriously, is this guy nuts? He's really that willing to ruin a perfectly good home in a sense of nationalistic pride?

The battle raged on throughout the house with the two dashing in and out of rooms every minute. Neither had managed to weaken each other in any way. The two were fighting it off in the kitchen by the time Shizuo really started to lose his patience.

"Dammit!" He snarled as he grabbed a hold of the man to throw. "Why can't you just give up? !"

And with that, the old man slammed right at the cabinets. The force of the impact caused the items that were in the top shelf to fall directly on him.

Including a butcher knife.

The butcher knife sunk deep into the man's scalp as blood oozed out of his head like a stream being interrupted by a small string of rocks. A small puddle of blood formed on the ground and spread through the small slits and cracks in between the floor tiles. The old man chuckled like a maniac before silence completely loomed the building.

…

…

…_Oh shit. I think I actually killed him. This is bad!_

… _!_

Right in front of his eyes, Shizuo witnessed the small droplets of blood halt in their spreading and _turn back_. The process soon sped up as they trickled closer to the old man to the point that they floated through the air and back into the area of the knife wound as if they were being sucked in. As each drop of blood was recollected into the man's head, the areas of the gash slowly reverted back to pure flesh and removed any traces of a fatal head wound having ever occupied the spots. The whole process met its end as the butcher knife fell off his head and clunked to the ground.

…

The man resumed his fit of giggles.

Things were never easy, were they?

* * *

><p>The morning began with a sudden request from Izaya to pick up some package for him. She didn't bother to ask what was in it and simply collected her payment without a word. They've been doing business with each other for years and she never once questioned anything he'd done. It was pretty logical that the two would be acquainted with each other. The Headless Rider and the shady informant. Both were well known in Ikebukuro's underground world, but it was obvious which one of the two should never be trusted.<p>

Shinra had booked another job for her later that day. To pass the time, she found herself doing nothing but the usual drive through. No matter how many times she passed through the same streets day after day, Celty always found her time alone and on the road as a soothing and almost sacred moment. It was the one part of her day that she could let her mind completely run blank with little worry.

Unless the cops find her that is.

Don't worry, we're not getting another nonsensical chase scene this time around, folks.

Nearby, a young boy continued running around the streets and asking about the whereabouts of his discovery. Was it here? Did you see it? Do you know where it is now? He'd long lost track of time and didn't even notice that recess time was over. He should've been back at school twenty minutes ago.

"Well if you see it, can you tell me?" He asked earnestly to the old lady running the candy store.

"Certainly," she smiled.

Before he left, the old lady offered him some free candy which he took willingly. As he exited the store, unwrapping some of his apricot candy, the old woman called out to him to hurry on back to school.

He stopped in his tracks. Come to think of it, these were some long fifteen minutes, huh?

…

_Oops._

He shrugged after popping his candy into his mouth one after another. Oh well. They probably didn't notice he left.

* * *

><p>"It's <em>one<em> kid. How come you can't find just _one kid? !_"

* * *

><p>Come to think of it, his plan was flawed from the start. Sure he knew exactly what he was looking for and sure it'd be easy to pin point it out of a crowd. But he had all of Ikebukuro to look through. Not only that; it could've been all the way in Nakano for all he knew.<p>

No, he wasn't going to give up! The most extraordinary thing ever had popped into his life and he wasn't going to let it go.

_Who knows? Maybe it'll pass right through right now._

_Vroooooooooooooo…_

He jumped. In the roads right in front of him, a black blur dashed right past while accompanied by the sound of a wild horse. His eyes widened. He found it. He really found it!

Dropping what was left of his free candy, he sped through the crowded streets in record time. Before he knew it, he was already neck and neck with the Headless Rider.

"Hey, stop!" He waved.

There was no response.

"I said stop!"

It was no use. The rider was too absorbed in the road to care and his words were lost in the wind. Fatigue was even eating up his bountiful energy.

This was his only chance.

His eyes fired up, with all that was left of his energy, he sprang up from the ground and latched right on to on of the bike's handle bars.

_!_

Celty was startled. She lost control of her horse as the motorbike skidded all over the place.

_C'mon boy. Calm down, calm down…_

It took a bit of consoling, but she eventually regained control of her ride and after that, immediately stopped in her tracks.

The boy jumped off the bike, his eyes wide and sparkling. "That was amazing! It sounds more like a horse up front! Is this bike magic?"

Celty grabbed out her phone and typed rapid fire in annoyance.

-_You don't just jump on to a moving bike like that! You could've died!_

"But I didn't," he said with a toothy grin.

…

She began typing again.

-_You really should be in school, kid._

"But school's so boring. Besides, they probably don't even realize I'm gone."

* * *

><p>"You didn't even call the police yet? What's wrong with you? !"<p>

* * *

><p>"I heard, like, the coolest things about you," he continued. "Like, that you can make these shadowy things come out of your body and that you can't die.<p>

"They even said you've got no head!"

-_I see._

"Well? Do you?"

…

Celty wanted to sigh. It didn't seem like he'd leave if she didn't.

-_If I show you, promise me you'll go back to school alright?_

"Mm-hm!"

…

It wasn't like she hadn't done it before, but it always felt awkward to reveal herself out in the public eye.

Slowly, she lifted up her helmet just enough to show the tip of her neck. Instead of a head, her neck was connected to streams of black shadows that actively swirled around in the closed space.

The boy was speechless and completely in awe at the sight. Even long after Celty had left, his face didn't move a muscle.

He was determined to see the dullahan again.

* * *

><p>He wasn't sure how long he'd been running away, but it was long past noon and Mikado was still ducking from alley to alley in escape from the thugs his "<em>friend<em>" managed to lash on to him.

"You can't hide forever!" One of the ruffians shouted as him and his gang slowly walked past another alley.

…

…

… _Are they gone?_

Mikado ducked his head outside and breathed a sigh of relief. They didn't suspect a thing.

He hesitated a bit before deciding against escaping the alleyway. They weren't too far away from him at this point and they could come back at any minute. Better safe than sorry.

"Got yourself in some trouble, huh?" A soft-spoken voice nonchalantly asked.

At first, the sudden unfamiliar voice startled the boy, but as he saw that the man meant no harm, he gave a small sigh of relief. "Yeah. My 'friend' got into some trouble and it somehow ended up involving me."

"I see."

…

Y'know, this voice sounded kind of familiar.

Mikado turned his head over and…

Holy crap.

_Y-Yuhei Hanejima?_

Yuhei looked towards Mikado with his usual blank expression. "What's with the face?"

"U-um, you're Yuhei Hanejima, right?"

"Yeah," he replied.

Mikado stopped and thought it over a bit. Was this really Yuhei? He usually acted a lot more cheerful. In fact, on the day he pulled him and Anri over for that interview, his cheerfulness was almost irritating.

Yuhei glanced back at Mikado. "What?"

"N-nothing," he stammered. "You're just a lot less…lively than I remember."

"Am I?"

"Well, yeah…"

Awkward silence.

Yuhei had then begun to pull out a lighter and cigarette from one of his coat pockets. After lighting it, he attempted to smoke, but ended up being caught in a violent fit of coughs instead.

"Are you okay?"

"Not really," he gagged.

"I guess it's your first time smoking then?"

"Yeah. Thought it'd calm down some nerves. Then again, my brother smokes all the time and he's always pretty pissed." Yuhei sighed before throwing the cigarette aside in a droning manner.

Another awkward silence.

"So…what are you doing in Ikebukuro?"

"Getting away from the paparazzi. All I had to do was go to my brother's place and they all ran like the world was ending. He wasn't home though, so I guess I'm just laying low for the time being."

"Really? I'd think you'd be used to things like this."

"I am. It's what they're asking me right now that's bothering me. Talking about my love life and stuff. As if I'm not getting enough flak everywhere else." He reached in his pocket for another cigarette, but rather than lighting it, stared blankly at the stick before carelessly tossing it aside.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. I'm getting death threats from my girlfriend's fans. Tons of them." He sighed and stared at the sky. "I can't even escape them either. Everywhere I go, there's someone that's going to call me out on taking away their idol or something. It's annoying."

"And how's your girlfriend?"

"Getting death threats from my fans. I think she's hiding off somewhere right now. Not sure."

"So it's a mutual thing."

"Yeah."

…

Mikado knew he _should_ help, but really, this was the celebrity's own problem.

"Well," the boy said nervously as he picked himself up. "I think those thugs are gone now, so I should probably get going."

"Alright," Yuhei replied indifferently.

Mikado blinked at his lack of emotions. To think that this man was able to hide behind a mask so easily in front of a camera was beyond him. But it didn't really concern him. Not now anyway. As far as he knew, as long as the thugs were still searching for him, he wouldn't be safe lurking around town for a while. Maybe loitering at a public place would ensure his safety. Or better yet, a quick trip to Shibuya or Shinjuku. Or maybe he should just hide out at Aoba's place? Hell no. That rotten bastard got him into this mess in the first place. It was Aoba that deserved to be chased around like this, not him.

"Well what do we have here?"

_!_

Their faces full of anger and confidence, the third-year ruffians grinned menacingly at the second-year's surprised expression.

"Don't think hiding out in an alley is going to fool us."

_Actually, I thought it would…_

"Well you're in for an enjoyable afternoon," one of the gang members smirked while cracking his knuckles. Mikado couldn't help but feel the pain that hadn't even inflicted him yet. "And you better feel honored too. You're being done in by genuine Dollars members!"

Mikado sighed in his head. He really should figure out a way how to make the group idiot-proof.

His eyes widened. Right then, a fist came flying towards his face and inched closer each second. There wasn't much time to react, but with any spare moments he did have, he made an attempt to fall back and avoid the punch. Unfortunately, his reaction was much too late. There was no way to avoid it now. He shut his eyes and braced for the impact…

…

…

…

…that never came.

_?_

Mikado slowly opened his eyes and stared in shock at the scene that lied before him. With each of the gang members stunned in a similar manner, the hand that was only inches away from his face before him was being blocked.

By Yuhei Hanejima of all people.

"What's with this Dollars crap?" Yuhei sighed in his usual monotone fashion. "You're one of those people that say you're a part of something just to make yourself more threatening, aren't you?

"I…uh… Ack!" Yuhei had just strengthened his grip of the boy's fist.

"Well let me tell you this; it's insulting when some idiot uses anything like that. It doesn't make you look tough. It just makes you pathetic. Pathetic enough to have to rely on someone else to make yourself look better."

The boy's eyes twitched. "I-I'll have you know, I really am a part of the Dollars!"

"Oh yeah? Then maybe it's scum like you that make the Dollars look bad. They don't like that, you know. You're not wanted."

His grip tightened again.

"And it's not like I'm too far off the mark. You're still just using their name for your own gain. Pathetic. Just pathetic."

"Shut the hell up!" The boy suddenly broke free of Yuhei's grasp and prepared to lay a punch right at the actor's face. "You're just some no talent actor! Who cares what you think!"

Yuhei stopped the attack again, this time, grabbing on to the guy's arm.

"The Dollars would care, wouldn't they? And I'm pretty sure they'd listen too. After all…"

Just then, Yuhei flipped the boy over, causing him to collide with the rest of his gang. They all moaned in pain as they felt their wounds on the hard concrete ground. Yuhei slowly walked towards them, his hands knelt casually in his coat pockets, and glared his unfeeling eyes at their direction. His shadow towered over them and only now were they able to fully see the trouble they were in.

"… _I'm_ in the Dollars."

* * *

><p>The indifferent viewer had nothing better to do with his life and decided to switch on the TV set despite the fact that the only thing on during day time hours are low budget soap operas and Dora the Explorer. As the screen flips on and the viewer is treated to a brief explosion of colors and noise, the viewer groans as he realizes that DRx7 Omake is on again.<p>

An enthusiastic pair of youth jumps into the screen, shouting the program's name. One is a boy and the other a girl.

"Well that was a pretty exciting chapter, huh Masaomi?"

"I suppose," Masaomi sighed dramatically. "If only I were in it."

"I'm sure you'll get to be in the story soon."

"Only if you will too, Saki."

The viewer suddenly finds himself twitching his eye.

"First off," Masaomi started. "For those of you who haven't figured it out, that crazy old man happens to be a homunculus. Kind of like the ones in that one anime. That, um…it's the show that keeps on appearing on the building projectors in the _Durarara_ anime. That, uh…"

"Come to think of it," Saki pondered. "What _is_ that show?"

"Dunno. Something about trains, I guess."

The viewer suddenly finds himself tempted to hurl something at the screen.

"Whatever," Masaomi brushed off. "If nobody knows about it, then it probably wasn't worth watching anyway."

The viewer suddenly feels very pissed.

"And can you believe Yuhei Hanejima is a part of the Dollars?" Saki squealed. "That's so badass!"

"What? Are you a fan or something?"

"Hm? Not really," Saki giggled lightheartedly. "He's a good actor, but most of the movies I've seen him in kind of sucked."

"Yeah, he gets into a lot of crappy movies, doesn't he?" Masaomi replied. "Oh, and there was that really weird kid this chapter too, right?"

"Oh, the kid with white hair?"

"Yeah, the foreigner."

"Masaomi," she sighed. "He was albino. There's a difference you know."

"He might _say_ he's albino, but I can tell it in his eyes that he's actually a foreigner!"

As the couple got into a heated argument, the viewer rested his head on the palms of his hands. He tried to watch more, but just couldn't. After shutting the TV off, he began to wonder why he even subscribes to this channel.

* * *

><p><strong>Y'know, when I first started this fic, it just began with Kanaka's Mary Sue story. When I was trying to come up with random plotlines to fit into <strong>_**Durarararararara ? ! ? !, **_**one of the first things that popped into my mind was having Kasuka be a member of the Dollars. Whether the story would be good or not, IT HAD TO HAPPEN.**

**And yes; the old man is a homunculus ala **_**Baccano!**_

**No; I will never go into detail on how that even happened.**

**Yes; I'm not bothering to name him either.**

**And a quick word of advice. Meshing Mikado's anime and light novel personalities together in a tasteful way is HARD, man!**


	6. Durarararara

**Uh, quick word of warning: I've only ever skimmed through translations of the light novels, so I don't really know 100% of what happens, though I do know the general events and relationships. Please bear with me.**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Durarararararara ? ! ? !<strong>_

**Chapter VI: **_**Durarararara**_

* * *

><p>"The Dollars would care, wouldn't they? And I'm pretty sure they'd listen too. After all…<p>

"…_I'm_ in the Dollars."

…

…

…

The wind twirled silently in the air as silence loomed over the scene. Mikado stood speechless, the thugs lay on the ground with expressions of shock and fear, and Yuhei stood before them with a blank but haunting expression.

They didn't even scream as they ran away.

… _Should I say something? _Mikado thought to himself. After all, Yuhei had just saved him.

He weakly raised his arm and voice. "I-"

"I'll take it you're a member of the Dollars too?"

"Uh, yeah," Mikado stammered. "How did you know?"

"Lucky guess. You just seemed like the type." The actor then began to head off, giving a small wave at Mikado. "Those guys might've blown my cover. I'll see you I guess."

"Wait!" Mikado called out. Yuhei turned around. "Can you just tell me why you joined the Dollars?"

"Why?"

"Well," Mikado began nervously. "You're famous and all and I'm just really…curious."

"…" Yuhei shrugged before walking back towards Mikado. "I was bored, I guess. I had some fans from Ikebukuro who kept on telling me to join, so I thought, why not?" He took a moment to glance at the sky. "It's pretty interesting actually. How much influence the group has on all those people I mean. Addicting too. I found myself checking the website in between all my takes that whole month. I guess you can say that I've got a lot of respect for the group."

Mikado had to hide the smile his mouth wanted to form. "I see."

"Yeah," Yuhei replied nonchalantly before heading off yet again.

"Wait!"

He turned back again.

"If you're looking for somewhere to hide out at, I'm pretty sure the part of town my apartment is at is safe."

* * *

><p>"Now who can I trick into doing this for me?" Izaya smirked as he held an unopened package towards the dim light of the alleyway. "I don't suppose there's anyone around here that fits the description to a tee, but then again, they're just a group of idiots. I can just drag any random guy off of the streets and they'd probably fall for it."<p>

Kanaka's breaths were uneven as she sat crouched behind a trash bin and away from the informant's view. She paid no attention to his ramblings (not that she'd understand a word of it without context) and only took notice of her mixed and frantic thoughts in mind.

Would he remember her? Of course not! It's been years and it's not like they've ever really spoken before. Well, they talked once, didn't they? Would that be enough for him to bother remembering her by? But they've crossed paths several times before; he'd have to at least be _aware_ of her. For all she knew, he could know everything about her! Actually, no, that's creepy; way too creepy. It's a possibility though, isn't it? If that were true, would he be considered a stalker? Not like she wasn't guilty herself. Even after moving out of Japan, she's been able to keep a track of his general whereabouts and has even-

"You're so convinced that I don't notice you, it's almost sad."

Kanaka jolted and uttered a shrill squeak.

"Just come out already. You're not fooling anyone."

… _Well, here goes…_

She slowly rose up from her hiding place and gulped as her eyes met his. Filled with both nervousness and excitement, she timidly uttered six words.

"Nice to see you again, Izaya."

…

"Do I know you?"

…

… _Seriously?_

"Uh, I'm Kanaka Tsukinara."

"… And?"

… _Seriously? !_

"I'm the girl who was in all your primary and middle school classes. The quiet one who always sat in the row next to yours. The girl who asked for one of your uniform buttons during graduation."

"… And?"

"For crying out loud, I was in Biology Club before they shut it down! I was the only girl in it!"

"Oh right, we had one female member, didn't we?"

Her eyes twitched. She was prepared for the possibility that he didn't remember her, but… Actually, no; she wasn't prepared. This was just ridiculous.

Wait, is it ridiculous? I mean, a human being is capable of seeing dozens of new people every day. It'd be understandable for someone as insignificant as her to be shoved under his memories. But she was the one girl who had the audacity to ask for his shirt button after that incident in middle school. That had to make her notable! Or maybe he was just a jerk who could care less. No, her precious Izaya wouldn't be that heartless.

"Is there any reason you're just standing there making faces that look as if you're suffering from constipation?"

Kanaka turned red. This wasn't going her way at all.

"Um, well, I was just wondering how you were doing these days. I mean, I know you're probably doing fine. Of course I wouldn't know the exact details. I'm not a stalker!"

…

… No, really. She wasn't.

"Er, right," Izaya said with a creeped out face. "If that's all you have to say…" He rose up from his makeshift seat. "I'll be taking my leave now."

Her eyes widened. He's leaving already? But she's only just found him. This one day might've been a complete chance meeting. Who knows if they'll ever cross paths again.

"Wait," she squeaked as she grabbed a hold of his parka right before he exited the alleyway. He turned a blank and annoyed expression back towards her. She gulped as she felt all heat in her body reaching towards her head. "Well," she mumbled as she darted her eyes towards the ground. "I…I was wondering…if…"

Izaya could care less about what was going on. From what he's seen, she was nothing more than a girl, who had supposedly known him, that has had years of bottled up feelings that she was struggling to let out. Shy, meek, and shrill, she wasn't his type at all. What she was doing right now was wasting his precious time. Just think of all the time he could've already spent searching for a perfect specimen for his little experiment.

…!

He decided to take note of her for the first time in their short meeting. He wasn't staring at her face or anything (though he was staring at _something_), but he was definitely taking note of her existence. She'll be useful…

"You're trying to ask me out, right?"

Kanaka's heart skipped a beat. "Well, uh-"

"Alright, so just meet me on the third floor of the abandoned department store in Shinjuku at noon tomorrow. It's one of the largest buildings there, so you shouldn't have too much trouble finding it. And just come in some slacks or something. No need to be formal." He began to take off before stopping in his tracks once again. "And just as a quick hint; I like girls with short hair."

Long after he left, Kanaka still found her knees resting on the ground as her thoughts constantly reran through Izaya's words. Even she couldn't describe her current happiness.

* * *

><p>"My god, he can be such a jerk sometimes!" Mairu screamed as she beat a punching bag right to the ground.<p>

"Tongue slip (I'm sure it was just a slip of the tongue)," Kururi replied monotonously. "Nice (He's usually pretty nice)."

"Whatever," Mairu rolled her eyes as she continued to beat on the inanimate object. "He still pissed me off. I mean, what's wrong with what we think is 'love'. It's none of his business."

"Calm (Clam down, Mairu). Break (You're going to break that thing in this rate)."

Mairu halted in the middle of another punch. She sighed. "Yeah. Maybe I'm blowing things a little too out of proportion here." She stretched out her limbs as she began to make her leave from the building. "Come on. The gym's no fun when there's no one else around."

The pair of twins found themselves wandering around Ikebukuro aimlessly and constantly got kicked out from store after store for both loitering and disturbing the other customers. After about three hours or so, they found themselves occupying the small corner of a convenience store nearby a sizeable magazine rack. Kururi slowly flipped through a leftover copy of last week's _Weekly Shonen Jump _while Mairu took no interest to the periodicals that sat in front of her. However, as soon as one headline stood out to her, she darted her arm towards the magazine and flipped furiously.

"Oh my god, it's actually true!" She gaped.

"Matter? (What's the matter?)"

Mairu bent over in defeat. "Those rumors were true. Yuhei really is dating that idol singer."

"Really," Kururi sighed as she joined her sister in her depressed posture.

The twins remained gloomy for another few minutes and in that short time, their stance managed to scare away half a dozen potential customers.

"Hey," Mairu shot back up cheerfully with no sign of her melancholy intact. "We've still got Shizuo-san."

"Right," Kururi giggled as she too shot up to a cheerful stance.

…

The twins glanced at each other's worried expressions. Maybe Aoba had a point…

* * *

><p>"Is he still out of it?" Walker asked, pointing towards the van's driver seat.<p>

"Yeah, he is," Erkia replied. "Well if someone went and married Sebastian, I'd be pretty upset too."

"Right," he nodded. "Kind of like how everyone pursuing Nene-chan can't help but feel like the other man these days."

"Quit talking about weird things back there," Kyohei interrupted.

"Well, what are we supposed to do?"

"Help me with my doujin?"

"You're doing that on your own."

"No fair!"

"Don't fight," Kyohei sighed. It really felt like he was babysitting the pair these days.

"Hey, Saburo," Erika chimed as she started poking the man's cheek with a pen. "Are you okay?"

"Leave me alone to die," he groaned, his head planted on the driving wheel.

"That bad, huh?" Erika sighed.

"You can try my method," Walker began. "Try getting into another idol and think about them both equally. That way, you can still like both of them, but not care as much when something happens to either."

Saburo shot back a glare that stated, 'Shut up. What the hell do you think you're saying?'

"I was just trying to help…"

"Idols have it rough these days, huh?" Erika pondered. "Like, Aya Hirano can't seem to do anything anymore."

"Yeah, with all the death threats and all."

"Oh yeah," Kyohei added. "She was that idol that some nut job tried to kill, right?"

"Tried to kill?" Saburo inquired wearily as he weakly lifted himself from the driving wheel.

"Not just that," Walker continued. "She got like a million death threats on her Twitter account."

"Death threats?"

"Ruri's pretty big these days," Kyohei said. "I wouldn't be shocked if she's getting the same treatment too."

"Nah. It's mostly just Yuhei Hanejima fans right now," Erika pointed out. "You know, the kind that call female celebrities sluts and whores and stuff. I'd be more worried about how the hardcore idol fans are treating Yuhei." She pulled her hat down in frustration. "My god, this is totally going to push back the Darker Than Black movie again, isn't it?"

"No, Ruri's got her really crazy fans against her too," Walker retorted. "They're even worse than those Yuhei fans with all the insults."

"Any death threats yet?" Kyohei asked.

"Plenty."

"What is this? !" Everyone stared back over to Saburo whose depressed state was now replaced in favor of an irritated demeanor. "They call themselves fans and this is how they treat her?" He quickly pulled out his cell phone and rigorously typed away.

"I guess he snapped out of it," Kyohei stated flatly.

"You're calling her a whore? ! Well you probably suck dicks every night!"

"… That's a bit much, don't you think?…"

* * *

><p>A young high school girl ran throughout the city that afternoon searching for a wide number of individuals. Each time she stopped in her tracks, her eyes morphed into a deep scarlet glow and she'd search the grounds tensely before dashing over to various individuals with similar traits. The process went on for what felt like hours. It was three past noon when her stamina completely diminished and she found herself resting at an empty café.<p>

"Are you sure you don't know anything?"

"Positive."

"Alright. Please tell me if you learn anything new."

"Yes, mother."

The same conversation had repeated almost endlessly.

A week prior, a small report of a slashing ran through the usual Ikebukuro gossip. The city had long forgotten the infamous "Slasher Incidents" that took place the previous year and only a few suggested their return. Even she was slow in suspecting their resurgence. However, as soon as another incident occurred, there was no doubt something was up.

"I wonder what's going on," Anri sighed before blowing away the piping steam of her tea. "Maybe Haruna Niekawa is acting up again. Should I try asking?" She took a quick sip before quickly pushing the beverage away from its immense heat. "But I don't know where she lives…"

After several attempts to drink the steaming tea, Anri reluctantly discarded it and paid for her unsatisfying break. She was soon back in the streets and into her repetitious routine. Unfortunately, she was unable to find any other of her children and quickly admitted defeat. Her head full of questioning thoughts, she decided to head straight home.

"Hey, you!"

Anri jumped as a pair of twins ran in front of her energetically.

"M-me?"

"Tell us what you think love is!" The girl in a Raira gym uniform shouted, her finger pointing directly between Anri's eyes.

"Excuse me?"

"Tell us what you think love is!" She repeated gleefully.

"Please," the other girl said softly, shifting her head away from her cell phone.

Anri blinked. "Um, well…"

Anri never did understand feelings the same way any other human being did. Love seemed the most puzzling out of them all. For the longest time, she'd always relied on her Saika abilities to understand the feelings she never could grasp; especially love. Did she love Mika? Did she love Masaomi and Mikado? How could she respond?

"Well…"

…

…

…

"Bzzzz," Mairu sounded off. She flicked her finger upward at Anri's glasses, causing the uncertain girl to flinch. "Took too long." She grinned. "Then I guess we're not the only ones."

"Um, I don't quite follow what you mean," Anri mumbled while rubbing her eyes.

"Understand love (We're trying to understand what love is _supposed_ to feel like)," Kururi answered.

"Yeah, our friend kind of pissed us off this morning," Mairu explained. "He said that our concept of love was screwed up or something. We thought about it for a bit and I guess he kind of had a point."

"I see," Anri replied in slight confusion. Were they really making such a big deal out of this?

"I'm Mairu Orihara and this is my twin sister, Kururi."

"Nice (Nice to meet you)," Kururi greeted while sheepishly hiding her face with her cell phone screen.

_Orihara?_ she thought. "A-anri Sonohara."

"And you go to Raira too?"

"Yes. Second-year."

"Hey," Mairu grinned sheepishly before suddenly reaching her hands out to grope Anri's breats, much to her dismay. "You're pretty well developed, senpai. They're even bigger than Kuru-nee's."

Anri's face turned bright red.

"Well," Mairu cheerfully backed away. "I guess we might see you in school then." She waved off as she marched away, her sister following in a more timid manner. "See you~"

…

…

… What the hell was that all about?

* * *

><p><em>Emerald_Envy has entered the chat.<em>

_xINGeseALCHEMIST: _(OMG, YOU JUST MISSED IT, WE ALMOST HAD A FULL RP SESSION)

_Emerald_Envy_: (Yes, I knew using a mainstream shonen would get us more ppl :D)

_Emerald_Envy: _(Why'd u run off today? Was it something we said?)

_xINGeseALCHEMIST: _(No, just found someone I used to know ;))

_Emerald_Envy: _(IZAYAN? O_O)

_xINGeseALCHEMIST: _(Maybe~)

_xINGeseALCHEMIST: _(Yea, so he asked me out and I'm gonna a haircut right now.)

_Emerald_Envy:_ (B-but, what about Shizu-chan D: )

_Emerald_Envy: _(Sorry~ See ya~)

_xINGeseALCHEMIST has left has left the chat._

_Emerald_Envy: (_…)

_Emerald_Envy: _(What is this I don't even)

_Emerald_Envy has left the chat._

* * *

><p>"Hey, what's on TV right now?"<p>

"Let's see… Teeny bopper stuff, crappy live action on Cartoon Network, another rerun of _Titanic_, Nickelodeon trying to promote exercise, ponies, some stupid _SNL_ skit…"

After all the channel surfing, the two viewers finally stopped at one channel. It wasn't because it was anything the two were fanatical about. It was just too horrible to turn away from.

(No, it's not E! running a _Twilight_ movie.)

"DRx7 Omake!"

(It's something worse than _Twilight_ altogether.)

"I'm your humble host, Masaomi Kida."

"And I'm Saki Mikajima."

…

"Say," one of the viewers pondered. "Why are we watching this?"

"Shut up, I'm trying to watch my train wreck."

"So yeah," Masaomi began. "What's up with those weirdo otaku that get so obsessed over those dating sim games?"

"Are you talking about that Love Plus game?"

"Yup," he nodded. "And to go as far as to marry one of the characters. A giant publicity stunt if I've ever seen one. But that guy was probably serious in the end. Total creepers, I tell you."

"I thought you said you really loved those games."

…

"Well anyway," he said loudly. "That was a pretty weak chapter segment. I mean, what was that? Constantly poking at the idol and seiyuu problem. I felt like I was watching a public service announcement."

"Can I see the remote?"

"WE ARE WATCHING THE TRAIN WRECK AND THAT IS FINAL."

"And you see how they mentioned the chat room having traffic this chapter? Probably lying."

"I don't know," Saki answered. "Fullmetal Alchemist is a pretty popular series."

"Yeah, like last year."

"That's it, give me that remote."

"MY TRAIN WRECK!"

And then an epic fight of epic proportions tore down the room.


	7. Durararararara

**Sorry this one took a while. I kept getting stuck at the Shizuo-Vorona-Tom segment (never thought they'd be so hard to write for), and at the same time, I've been trying to get my **_**Persona-Durarara! **_**fic off the ground. (Look forward to that in the near or far future!)**

**And I just realized that I've had the clothing descriptions for the twins mixed up. (Stupid, stupid, stupid!) It's only minor mentions in the last chapter, but I'll get to fixing that right away. Along with that, I'm going to go back to previous chapters and change any mentions of Kadota to Kyohei to keep the last name first name thing in balance.**

**Thank you for your cooperation!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Durarararararara ? ! ? !<strong>_

_**Chapter VII: Durararararara**_

* * *

><p>A young fourth grade boy walked confidently through the crowded sidewalks. A deep contrast to his usual morning mood, he greeted almost everyone he passed by who would in turn greet back nervously as they gawked at his snowy hair.<p>

The previous day was met with scolding from his parents who berated his absence for much of the school day. (They apparently did not take well to being informed that the cops had to come to the school.) Anyone else would have been depressed, but his outlook on life today was actually more cheerful than usual. His peers could tell too. After all, they were all pretty creeped out.

"He's…smiling…"

"Is the world ending?"

_creak._

"Morning class," the teacher droned as she walked sloppily into the classroom before collapsing right on to her desk. "Look, here's the deal: I'm feeling pretty hung over this morning, so just do whatever and don't make any loud noises." She lifted her head. "And if you call the school nurse in, then I'm lowering all of your test scores."

Hung over teacher plus school nurse equals a trip to the principal's office equals a possible trip to the unemployment line. You get the picture.

"Ugh…" The objects on her desk jumped up as her head slammed down.

"Wow, teach is pretty wasted today, huh?"

"This is like the fifth time this month!"

The boy smirked. _Perfect._

As numerous groups of chatter erupted in the group, much to the teacher's chagrin, the boy quietly tiptoed towards the classroom door without notice. With just a small click of the door, he was home free.

"What was that?" The teacher gurgled. "God, you kids are way too noisy. You're all drowning out the light!" Suddenly, her head jumped up and her hands instinctively grasped on to her mouth. "Shit, I think I'm gonna hurl. WILL ONE OF YOU BRATS GO GRAB A TRASH CAN? !"

* * *

><p>"Come on, lighten up, man!"<p>

"Aoba, you got a bunch of third-year thugs to chase me around town for almost two whole hours yesterday."

"Well, you lived, didn't you?"

"What did you even say to them?"

"I only called them things as bad as **(Whoa, censored!)**. I think they were just being too unreasonable."

"Oh yeah?" Mikado frowned. This kid was just really hard to deal with sometimes.

Aoba grinned with devilish eyes. "Look at it this way, senpai." He lifted up his hand, bandaged and crude like it had been for roughly a month. "Consider us even." Smirking deviously, Aoba walked away to leave Mikado in an irritated mood.

His thoughts were all over the place that morning. On one hand, he was cursing loudly at Aoba's existence. On the other, he was wondering how long Yuhei would be hiding out at his place and how much more money this would be tacking on to his groceries. Soon, it was lunch break and he was looking forward to ease his mind with his usual lunch with-

"Sonohara-senpai!" A voice suddenly blasted as the door slammed loudly open. The whole class was rendered speechless as the odd duo, a girl in a sailor uniform and another sporting the school's gym uniform, marched right up towards the shy class representative.

"Time's a wasting. Let's go!" The girl in the sailor uniform said, grabbing a hold of Anri's sleeve.

"Please," the other added on lightly.

"H-how did you two find my classroom?"

"We just asked Iza-nii," the upbeat glasses girl grinned, tugging on Anri's sleeve more.

With only a little bit more effort, the energetic twin successfully forced Anri away from her desk and towards the door, chatting to the speechless second-year along the way. After the two had left the room, the quieter twin bowed towards the class and possibly uttered an apology before politely shutting the door.

The class remained silent and confused for a whole minute. Signs of noise slowly reentered the room little by little, but only in soft and confused whispers concerning the puzzling event they just witnessed.

"Were those the weird first-year twins?"

"I heard they messed up some girls pretty badly on their third day here."

"I wonder what they want with Sonohara."

"What the hell was up with that?"

_I'd really like to know_, Mikado thought weakly as he sat, still stunned at the strange ordeal.

* * *

><p>Tom and Shizuo hung around idly in the small office, sharing small chit chat here and there. Their attention turned towards the door as a young blonde woman entered.<p>

"So, how'd it go, Vorona?" Tom asked.

"Well, he let me on to his property when he saw I wasn't Japanese, but then he started to say the most disgusting things."

"And?"

"I beat him up, plain and simple."

"That's just great," Tom sighed in slight aggravation.

"The perv was probably enjoying it too," Vorona grimaced in disgust. "But senpai's right. That old man has abnormal healing powers. Whatever he is, he's definitely not normal."

"Any ideas?" Shizuo asked.

"I don't know," she shrugged. "The best I can think of is a homunculus, but that's pretty nigh impossible."

"A what?"

"Homunculus. It's a being that can live forever."

"I've seen stranger," Shizuo replied offhandedly. Vorona raised her eyebrow in curiosity, but before she could further question her co-worker, he cut her off. "What's a freak like that even doing in a place like this?"

"I don't know," Vorona rubbed her chin in deep thought. "He could be the result of some sort of experiment. I believe I heard some rumors that Yagiri Pharmaceuticals was performing human experimentations before their merging with Nebula last year."

"Can't be," Tom said. "As far as I know, he's been living here for years, and hasn't changed a bit. Next to no one's ever been able to get into that fortress of his. I doubt a pharmaceutical company would even come close." He shook his head. "Look, I don't care what his backstory is. All I know is that he hasn't paid a single bill since he moved in. Do you know how much money he's got placed on him?"

"I understand," Vorona nodded. "I guess I probably should've asked him to pay some of it before I beat him up, huh?" She continued nervously, shifting her eyes to the side in embarrassment. "He's never going to listen to me now."

"Dammit," Shizuo grunted. "That guy pisses me off so much."

"You and me both," Vorona sighed.

Determination sparked within the two co-workers' minds. With all their built up anger and frustration, they concluded that they'd both do anything possible to get even with their common enemy.

Noticing the tension in the room, Tom shrugged. "Just make sure the two of you don't do anything illegal."

* * *

><p>"I-I really should get back to class," Anri said timidly as the glasses wearing Orihara twin continued to drag her further from the school.<p>

"You're no fun," Mairu snorted. "What's a day out of class gonna do?"

"B-but I'm the class rep, and-"

"There's two per class, right? It'll be fine."

"Wh-where are you taking me?"

"Away from the school. Duh!"

"We are," Kururi stated in a deadpan tone.

Mairu made an abrupt halt in her tracks, and faced back behind the group. The trio were almost a mile away from Raira.

"Oh, I guess we are," she blinked.

Letting go of her grip on the upperclassman, Mairu slung her bag on to the ground, and proceeded to scavenge through it before triumphantly pulling out a video camera.

"Alright senpai," Mairu started confidently, pointing right in front of Anri's confused face. "You went and said yesterday that you're also confused about love."

"Birds of feather. (Birds of a feather stay together.)"

"So we've decided," she shoved the camera towards Anri's face. "We're going to rub it in Aoba's face, and show him we know all about love. All about the _different_ ways to love! We'll ask all around Ikebukuro and fill this baby up!"

"…Eh?"

"Come (Come on)," Kururi smiled as she tugged on Anri's shirt.

It was an interesting sight that day in Ikebukuro. A pair of overly enthusiastic twins dragged along a bewildered girl through the streets of the city even though school was carrying on. And they were all still in uniform too. Oh boy…

* * *

><p>Leaving the bustling afternoon Shinjuku bullet train station, Kanaka marched stiffly through the city with a heavy heart.<p>

Populated with numerous young adults and delinquents decked out in the latest Tokyo fashion, her lazy form of dress made her stick out like a sore thumb. She was all too eager to present herself the way Izaya suggested her too, and as a result, her once passable outfit and long black locks were now reduced to a simple t-shirt and jeans with hair short enough for her to be mistaken for a boy. And her lack of a noticeable bust helped little in the matter. She could feel the stares and rolling eyes of mockery as she passed through the streets, and tried her best to ignore them all.

_Where did he tell me to meet him?_ Kanaka thought loudly, attempting to block out the rest of the world. _He said it was the largest building in Shinjuku, but none of these buildings really look that taller than the others._

_Wait, what if by largest, he meant in floor space? Shoot! How am I supposed to know if the buildings I just passed weren't the largest? Is there anyone I can ask maybe?…_

_No, no, no! _She shook her head furiously. _I'm already getting stared at. I don't need any more attention than I already have!_

… _But, what if I end up being super late? What if he ends up having to wait a whole hour for me? Or maybe two? What if he leaves because I got there aver three hours late? !_

During these past few minutes, she unknowingly started making very constipated faces as she awkwardly walked, giving onlookers more than just her unfashionable looks to whisper about.

Her worries luckily came to an end. Having ventured far into a near empty section of Shinjuku, Kanaka came face to face with a building that stretched seemingly to the stars. Despite the quiet nature of the surrounding street, it remained the only building that was truly devoid of life. So, was this it?

Taking in a large breath of air, Kanaka sprinted right into the building, climbing the staircases all the way to the top floor.

… And there he was.

"You actually came," Izaya said calmly. The small phrase managed to brighten Kanaka's head to a bright pink, simply because the words were directed towards her. "Don't just stand there," he laughed playfully.

"Uh, y-yes," she squeaked nervously before shrilly dashing right over. Standing right next to him, her head was dizzy and her heart aflutter. Her usual mind ramblings ran on and on in her mind, but they were so incomprehensible in nature, no attempts are being made to try to present them in-story.

"There's actually something I forgot to bring," Izaya said smoothly in contrast to her unintelligible squeaks. "I was hoping I'd have the chance to go get it when you got here."

"O-o-o-k-k-kay," she stammered.

Izaya smiled and slipped out of his fur-trimmed parka before handing it over to the nervous wreck. "Here," he said. "In case you get cold."

Kanaka nervously slunk into the jacket, shaking and blushing as she fumbled through.

"Don't worry. It's not too far, so I won't be long," Izaya waved as walked away from sight. All Kanaka could do was nod like an idiot.

_Gosh_, she blushed. _Our date barely started and I'm already acting like a total freak._ She smiled. _He didn't say anything though. Maybe he just doesn't care? Ohmigosh, I'm so happy! I wonder what we're going to do. Oh, I hope he gets back soon._

…_!_

_rustle._

"Is that him over there?" A rough and thuggish voice asked in the near distance.

"Got a fur-trimmed coat like the boss said he would. Course it's him."

Kanaka's pupils shrunk to the size of an ant as her heartbeat sprang rapidly in her chest. Almost out of nowhere, a sizable circle of thugs gathered around her with sinister smirks, snarls, and glares. Her shock was so immense, she found no strength to cry for help, and could barely even sustain the ability to breath.

"Wow. He said this guy looked kinda girly, but I didn't think he'd actually look this much like a wuss."

_Wh-what are they talking about?_ Kanaka repeated in her head.

"Well then," one of the thugs cleaved his fists together. "I'm sure you know how much trouble you got us in. A bunch of us almost got arrested because of you."

_Wh-what are they talking about?_

"And you know how we don't take kindly to bastards who screw around with us like that," another thug added.

_Wh-what are they talking about? !_

"Where's that sharp wit we heard you're famous for?" Another laughed in a mocking tone. "All it takes for you to shut up is to block off all the exits, huh?"

_**Wh-what are they talking about?**_** !**

Before she knew it, the gang charged right at her, armed with fists and knives. One was even crazy enough to charge with an axe. Even if her mind demanded her feet to take action and run, her will was too frightened to follow. Her eyes were wide open as the first hit came charging right towards her face.

And everything went black.

* * *

><p>Izaya shook his head with a pitying smile as he skipped casually through Shinjuku. "All it probably takes is a really flat-chested girl to fool them. I wonder if they've noticed it by now."<p>

He chuckled. "I almost feel a bit sorry for her. It's her first time back in Ikebukuro, and the guy she likes tricks her into something like that. It's her own fault though. How naïve can someone get?"

Entering his apartment, he waved cheerfully at his secretary, Namie Yagiri, who scowled in response as per usual. He slung on his signature fur-trimmed parka that was left neatly on his chair, and threw the empty box Celty had delivered to him the previous day carelessly to the ground. Spinning around on his chair, he recounted his day so far to his annoyed employee.

Rolling her eyes, Namie walked over to pick up the discarded box. It once held a custom made jacket Izaya had ordered that was modeled after his own.

* * *

><p>Anonymous had recently been laid off, and now spent his days miserably lounging around in his cramped home. With barely enough money to afford basic forms of entertainment, Anonymous often found himself mindlessly channel surfing for several hours straight.<p>

_-BZZT-_

"And if you order now, we'll give you a complimentary water bottle holder, perfect for jogging with water without having to hold in your hands."

_-BZZT-_

"But the thing is, kids these days just don't want to learn anything! If they're not going to classes, they're freely roaming the streets and going to the mall or the movies. And what are adults doing to stop this? Absolutely nothing!"

_-BZZT-_

"Akihisa, there's something I need to tell you."

"What is it, Hideyoshi?"

"I'm not actually a boy."

_-BZZT-_

"The next episode of Stardust Witch Meruru IS ABOUT TO START~!

"_Meru-Meru-Meru-Meru-Meru-me_,

_Meru-Meru-Meru-Meru-m_-"

_-BZZT-_

"In other news, a horrible incident had occurred earlier this afternoon in an abandoned building in the Shinjuku district. Several civilians were found horribly beaten, however, the perpetrator is currently unknown. All the victims are currently being treated in-"

_-BZZT-_

"_Pi-piru-piru-piru-pipi-ru-pi,_

"_Pi-piru-piru-piru-pipi-ru-pi-_"

_-BZZT-_

"After last week's discovery of the secret relationship between idol singer Ruri Hijiribe and actor Yuhei Hanejima, fans of both idols have started pointing fingers whether on the streets or on the net. To think that these two beloved stars have garnered much hate in this short amount of time is shocking. Both of their current whereabouts are unknown."

_-BZZT-_

"_My Little Pony, My Little Pony. Ah-ah-ah-ah-_"

_-BZZT-_

Reaching another station, Anonymous came face to face with a brightly lit set. Although the show was supposed to be off air at the moment, anyone currently watching was free to listen to behind the scenes chatter from the cast and crew members who unknowingly left the camera running. Anonymous barely had time to roll his eyes at the pre-sight of the show before he reached for the remote again.

_-BZZT-_

…

_-BZZT-_

…?

_-BZZT-BZZT-BZZT-BZZT-BZZT-_

_Oh shit_, Anonymous thought. For whatever reason, he found himself unable to switch channels. As a pair of teenagers walked on screen, he could only brace himself for the harmful pain.

"DRx7 Omake!" The pair shouted happily.

He felt the pain already.

"Poor Anri," Masaomi sighed. "She has to deal with those two weird twins for the rest of the fanfic, doesn't she?"

"I'm sure she'll live," Saki replied.

"Of course she will, but I can only imagine how much trouble those two can bring." His eyes shifted to a glare. "After all, they are related to _him_."

"There you go antagonizing Izaya again," Saki sighed with a false smile.

"Did you see what he did this chapter to that otaku girl? ! He tricked her into getting beaten up! And worst of all, did you see how easily he manipulated her into trading in her looks like that? She was a serious grade A cutie just a chapter ago!"

"Masaomi," Saki grumbled. "Your girlfriend's here you know."

"Hey, I can make comments on girls," Masaomi replied defensively. "If they're hot, they're hot. It's got nothing to do with how I feel about you."

"Oh yeah?" Saki's voice rose. "And when was the last time you gave _me_ a compliment on my looks? So I'm not a 'grade A cutie', huh?"

"What? You're getting worked up over that? I didn't think you'd be the type of girl to get jealous."

"Jealous? ! Is it my fault that you constantly talk about other girls right in front of my face? !"

"At least I'm not the one who _still_ has an Izaya complex!"

"Didn't I say I got over him? !"

"Then why do you keep defending him? !"

Anonymous blinked. What he usually got from this show was a pair of gushy teenagers always failing to do their job properly because they always went off topic, acting like lovesick puppies as a result. He put the remote down as crew members started making attempts to break the bickering couple apart. Things were actually starting to get interesting.

* * *

><p><strong>Yes. I decided to write a storyline into the Omake segment. Brilliant, right?<strong>

**Again, sorry for the wait. I've got a lot of schoolwork going on, but at the same time, ideas for this fic is pouring in. Somehow I'll manage.**

**And as usual, whether you enjoyed it or not, feel free to post a comment. It makes me feel loved.**


	8. Durarararararara

**Before I start talking about random crap no one cares about, I'd like to thank four specific people who reviewed chapter 7. Those were the longest reviews I've ever received, and had higher praise than I could ever dream of actually getting. I've reread them several times (sad, I know). Seriously, you guys rock. ;-;**

**Well, enjoy! ( ^o^)/**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Durarararararara ? ! ? !<strong>_

**Chapter VIII: **_**Durarararararara**_

* * *

><p>-<em>BZZT<em>-

"Is it working now?"

"… Picture. (The screen is turned on now.)"

"Great!"

Moving the focus of the lens from the clouds to themselves, Mairu grinned sheepishly at the camera. "Hello there!" She greeted. "This is Mairu Orihara here." She moved the camera over.

"And that's Kuru-nee." She waved shyly.

"And we also have…" She spent almost half a minute searching for Anri as she moved the camera around, finally finding her near an alley, ready to slowly walk away. "We have Sonohara-senpai here too. Where are you going?"

Anri blushed. Getting away from them might not be as easy as she hoped. Kururi quickly dragged here back while Mairu continued her commentary.

"Right, so _you_, Aoba, issued us a bit of a challenge the other day. You're saying what we think is love is screwed up? You're saying we don't understand what it is? Well, we've decided we're going all over Ikebukuro asking around for all the different types of love. Our way may be strange, but there are stranger. So read it and weep, Aoba. Don't underestimate us!" She finished off the introduction by playfully sticking her tongue out at the camera.

After listening to her sister's monologue, Kururi tapped her shoulder. "Confusion. (I'm confused.) Correction? (Are we proving that he was right or wrong?)"

…

"Anyway," Mairu began loudly. "We wasted enough time trying to get this camera to work. Let's get going!… Hey, senpai, wait up!"

* * *

><p>There was quite a lot of tension in the van that day. Contrasting with the general gloomy mood from the day previous, the atmosphere felt angry; almost hateful.<p>

And again, it was coming off of Saburo.

"Togusacchi," Erika lulled. "I think you're going to break it."

Oblivious to the world around him, Saburo furiously texted and typed away on his cell phone.

"Look, Saburo," Kyohei began. "I know how much you feel about Ruri Hijiribe, but I don't think yelling at people on the internet is going to make anything better."

"Shut up," Saburo mumbled angrily under his teeth.

"Hey, check it out!" Walker said, shoving his phone in front of Saburo's face. "Somebody blogged about a certain guy who keeps on posting rude messages on anti-Ruri threads. You're famous!"

"You're not helping things, Walker!"

"Togusacchi, the book signing is about to start. What are we still doing here?"

As the van grew rowdier, Saburo's texting only grew more furious. The tension was only building up with no way of turning back. Finally, he had enough.

"That's it!" Kyohei shouted and kicked Saburo with enough force to open up the door and have the poor guy tumbling out.

"What the hell, man? !"

"I'm sorry, but you need to cool off! Have some alone time or something."

"You can't just kick me out of my own car!"

"I don't think you realize it, but you're not the only one with a driver's license here." On cue, Erika and Walker flashed out their licenses with glee.

Saburo's face quickly grew red. "Fine! Have it your way!" After Kyohei slammed the door, Saburo proceeded to leave in a huff. "But I swear, if you get a single scratch on my car, all three of you are dead!"

Saburo kept fuming even as he left the scene. Even several buildings away, the three could still hear his grumblings and curses. After he was completely out of sight and sound, Kyohei sighed and blushed nervously.

"Um, so, can one of you two drive?"

"Failed your driving test again?"

"Can it, Walker."

"I say we decide with Roshambo!" Erika shouted excitedly.

* * *

><p><em>BEEP.<em>

_Battery life: 3_

"Hey mister," Mairu called out to a young businessman.

"M-me?" He pointed to himself.

"Yeah, you. Mind if we ask you something?"

"Shouldn't you three be at school?"

"Hey, who's asking the questions here?" She rudely barked. "Alright, can you tell us what you think love is?"

He blinked. "Love? What I think love is?" He cocked his head. "What kind of movie are you three filming?"

"A documentary on how we're going to pwn Aoba's face."

"What?"

"Understand (Just go with it)," Kururi added monotonously.

"What?"

"What are you doing? Answer the question!"

"Fine, fine, sheesh," he grumbled. "Kids these days… So what do I think love is?" He rubbed his hand on his chin. "Well…that's kind of a hard question… I think it's all about being with someone that makes you feel warm and relaxed inside and-"

"You're boring."

"Yawn (Very boring)."

"…Excuse me?"

"Alright, we're done here… Senpai, quit trying to run off!"

_BEEP._

* * *

><p>"Still can't find it, huh?" The young albino boy sighed. What did he expect? It was a miracle he ran into the Headless Rider twice already.<p>

He stared up towards a clock. School was dismissed already. Maybe he should just start heading home. Knowing his luck, someone probably noticed his absence eventually, and his parents were waiting at the porch, ready to scream at his face again as we speak.

_No_, he shook his head. _I already spent all this time. I'm not going back without empty handed._

_Alright, how did I find it yesterday?_ He pondered. _Oh, right, I just kept thinking it'd show up and then it did. Maybe that'll work again!_

_Show up, show up, show up, show up, show up, show up, show up…_

… Please_ show up?_

He sighed again. "Who am I kidding?"

_Vroooooooo…_

And right on cue, the familiar sound of the ghastly neigh of a horse sounded off in the near distance. It was probably just right around the corner too.

The boy's face beamed. "It worked! I am so trying that again!"

Dashing off excitedly, his arms up in the air looking an airplane, he ran over to a building closest from where the noise was coming from and peeked. Lo and behold, his precious Headless Rider was driving towards him. The next item on hand was getting the supernatural being's attention…

And what better way to get a motorcyclist's attention than to jump right in front of them.

Celty panicked big time. She immediately hit the breaks on her horse while turning it to the side. She was only a few inches short of hitting the kid when she finally screeched to a halt.

"Surprised to see me again?" He gave a toothy grin.

-_You again? !_

_-What is wrong with you? !_

_-Quit trying to get yourself killed!_

"Relax," he laughed. "I still haven't died yet."

Celty put her hand on the visor of her helmet. This kid…

_-Didn't I tell you to go back to school yesterday?_

"They already let out. I'm home free." He gushed. "Ohmigosh, there's so many things I have to ask you. Like, how can you see without a head? Are there more creatures like you in Tokyo? Where did you come from? Are you connected to the spirit world? Why does your bike sound like horse? Do you have a name?"

Celty motioned her hands for him to slow down and calm down. She then went back to typing on her phone.

_-Celty Sturluson._

"Cool," he marveled. "That's a really pretty name. Sounds foreign. Where are you from?"

_-How about you tell me your name first?_

He blinked. "Me?" His confused expression quickly changed to form another giant smile. "Shinra Kiritani at your service!"

…

…

…

What the hell were the odds?

_-Is that really your name?_

"Sure is!"

…

Seriously, what _were_ the odds?

_Do I attract crazy people named Shinra or something?_ Celty thought incredulously.

"So, can you answer my questions now?"

_-Look, I've got a job right now, and I'm in a bit of a hurry._

"Oh, okay," Shinra said quietly in disappointment.

_-H-hey, don't look so down!_

"Um," he blushed. "C-can I talk to you again some time?"

Celty paused a bit before replying.

_-Sure. As long as you go to school._

_-And you don't do stupid stunts again._

He nodded. "Got it!"

And with that, he waved Celty goodbye. Today, he finally made a new friend. A being beyond imagination.

* * *

><p><em>BEEP.<em>

_Battery life: 2_

"I don't get it Kuru-nee. Why do people keep walking away from us? We've only got to film, like, one guy."

"Scare (Maybe you just keep scaring them off)."

"I do not! Maybe they're freaked out because you keep being all quiet and spooky like that. I mean, if you're gonna be quiet, at least play up the moé like senpai is…"

She turned the camera behind them. Anri was tip-toeing away yet again.

"Oh? Did you find someone, senpai?"

Anri jumped. "U-um-"

"Hey Anri, what are you doing?"

Anri looked over, with Mairu's camera following, to see the all too familiar pair of lovey-dovey Raira students: The girl with the mismatched body and the dead serious boy she always clung on to.

"Uh, hi Mika, Seiji."

"You left school so suddenly today. What have you been up to?" Mika took notice of the camera pointed towards them. "What're those two up to?"

"Oh, they're-"

"We're trying to learn all the different meanings of love!" Mairu boasted.

"One (But so far, only one guy answered us)," Kururi added sadly.

Immediately, Mika's eyes lighted up. "Did you say you're learning about love?" She jumped right in front of the camera lens, dragging Seiji over. "Obviously, it's all about wanting to be with someone 24/7. Even indirectly. Like, you want to know exactly what they're doing every waking moment. Like me? I use cameras and stuff, but the ones I use are much better than this shabby one you guys are using. Well, mine are used mostly for spy work, so you're camera isn't too bad since you're just filming stuff."

"Awesome!" Mairu replied. She motioned the camera towards Seiji. "And what about you?

"Me?" He hesitated for a moment. "It's about putting all of your mind, heart, soul, and devotion into that person and treating her as an equal to life itself."

"Oh Seiji, that's so cool!" Mika gushed.

"Great!" Mairu gave the couple a thumbs up. "Best answers we've heard all day!"

"Aw shucks, you're making me blush," Mika laughed. The pair turned around. "Good luck with your film!"

Mairu gave a fist pump. "Whoo! I'm all fired up now! Come on you two, the day is still young. Let's keep on going until sunset!"

Kururi happily complied, and as the twins walked down the road, they grabbed hold of Anri and dragged her along too.

_BEEP._

* * *

><p>Ten cups.<p>

He finished ten cups.

Mikado bought double that much to last him for the _week_.

"Uh, M-Mr. Hanejima," Mikado said in a shaky voice.

Kasuka looked up after slurping up yet another mouthful of ramen in his eleventh serving. "Hm?"

"Uh, well, I know you're kind of depressed and all, but, uh, I really don't think eating all that ramen is going to do much." _And I don't have much money left to buy some more…_

Kasuka shrugged. "I suppose you're right." With that, he set down his half-eaten cup of noodles, and proceeded to pull out a cigarette and lighter from his pockets.

"Wha- d-don't smoke in here!" Mikado stammered meekly.

"Huh?" Kasuka looked up with his usual blank expression. "Oh, right. Sorry."

He stuffed the cigarette back into his pocket, and was about to do the same with the lighter, but after staring at it for a bit, walked over to the window and threw the small object across the street. Mikado looked agape.

"You wouldn't have gotten anything to drink while you were at the store, did you?"

"Before you ask, I didn't get anything alcoholic," Mikado replied flatly.

"Why in the world would I ask for that?"

Mikado sighed. "Well, I'm actually amazed that you're still here. I was expecting you to have left for your brother's place already."

"It's too much trouble to head out again. I would have been swarmed the moment I stepped out of this neighborhood."

"I hear you. I hope you weren't bored or anything though."

"It was no problem, I guess. I have to ask though," he glanced at the floor. "The woman downstairs…is she maiming the fur off of cats down there?"

"Oh, she's just trying to get them to take a bath… I think." He laughed. "Get used to it. It's a pretty good alarm clock."

"Cats are being tortured. I don't think it's funny."

Awkward silence.

"Well, um," Mikado began, attempting to relight the mood. "I'm sorry again for the lack of things to do around here. I'm pretty sure you won't be that interested in the crap I read. The computer's been down for the past few days, so I guess you can't use that either-"

"Actually, I fixed it up earlier today," he flatly interrupted.

"Y-you did?" Mikado replied in startled amazement. "How did you-"

"I've been posting on the Dollars website all day. They were talking about some accident in Shinjuku for most of the afternoon. That reminds me…" He casually strolled over towards the computer. "I haven't checked the posts in almost an hour."

"Hey, hold on!" Mikado rushed over. "Uh, can you just let me use it first? I haven't checked my mail or anything in days."

"You'll get your turn."

"I-it won't take that long. I mean, you're just checking the posts on the website, aren't you? It's not too important."

"I said you'll get your turn." Even though his voice was as flat and lifeless as it usually was, there was something about his emotional tone that made the statement seem like a threat.

Mikado gulped and backed away. It was nearly eleven when he finally had control of the computer. His guest had no real need for alcohol, cigarettes, or even endless amounts of instant ramen. All he needed was the internet.

* * *

><p><em>No one is in the chat room.<em>

_No one is in the chat room._

_Kanra-san has joined the chat._

_KANRA  
><em>Good evening everyone!

_KANRA  
><em>Is no one else on at the moment?

_Setton-san has joined the chat._

_Tarou Tanaka-san has joined the chat._

_SETTON  
><em>Evening. I just got back from work.

_TAROU TANAKA  
><em>I had some trouble taking control of the computer ; ;

_SETTON  
><em>Do you have a relative over or something?

_TAROU TANAKA  
><em>You can say that ; ;

_Bakyura-san has entered the chat._

_KANRA  
><em>Ah, you're finally here. ;)

_BAKYURA  
><em>Die.

_KANRA  
><em>Just as charming as ever, I see? ;)

_BAKYURA  
><em>I'm not in the mood today.

_TAROU TANAKA  
><em>Did something happen?

_KANRA  
><em>Girlfriend troubles?

_BYAKURA  
><em>What? How did you know?

_BAKYURA  
><em>Never mind…

_BAKYURA  
><em>So, how are you guys doing?

_TAROU TANAKA  
><em>Same old, same old.

_TAROU TANAKA  
><em>Someone's staying over my place for a while, so it's been a bit stressful. ; ;

_SETTON  
><em>There's a kid that won't leave me alone at work…

_KANRA  
><em>Well I for one am having a terrific day!

_BAKYURA  
><em>Can it.

_SETTON  
><em>Did something good happen?

_KANRA  
><em>Even better than good!

_TAROU TANAKA  
><em>Oh yeah? What happened?

_TAROU TANAKA  
><em>…

_TAROU TANAKA  
><em>Are you still there, Kanra?

_KANRA  
><em>kfhnlviu; dhliljDHao:fh IFZSFCHAWJL ZMJZjd wakd90 w3hnhakxn,z -

_TAROU TANAKA  
><em>? ? ?

_SETTON  
><em>Are you alright over there?

_SETTON  
><em>Hello?

_SETTON  
><em>Earth to Kanra!

_BAKYURA  
><em>Maybe Kanra got pushed into a ditch.

_TAROU TANAKA  
><em>Kanra-san?

_TAROU TANAKA  
><em>Are you still there?

_SETTON  
><em>Kanra?

* * *

><p>Things were awkward at the set that day.<p>

I mean, really awkward.

After being forcibly dragged on to the set, Masaomi and Saki kept their distance and grumbled silently, occasionally glaring at each other. In contrast to the overly colorful backdrop, the tension on set grew increasingly dark and gloomy.

"Durarararararara Omake," they grumbled simultaneously.

…

Somewhere in the background, you can hear the director angrily whispering at them to start talking.

"Right," Masaomi rolled his eyes. "So what happened this chapter?" He grabbed out a piece of paper. "Saburo is acting like a PMS-ing otaku, albino kid has a name apparently, the Orihara twins are just as freakish and annoying as their older scumbag brother-"

"He is not a scumbag," Saki interrupted. "He's not annoying or freakish either."

"He's also definitely not an immature asshole who takes pleasure in mentally torturing kids and teens," Masaomi retorted sarcastically.

"Oh yeah?" Saki twitched. "Maybe you're just jealous you don't have as many fan girls than him."

"Not as many fan girls," he scoffed. "Look me up on deviantArt. Me and the Yellow Scarves have more fan clubs than him."

"So? I don't see your smug face dominating Pixiv."

"You're kidding, right? Dominating that place just means you've got a legion of creepy fan girls making shameless porn of you!"

"So you admit you've got less fan girls than him."

He slammed his fist on the table. "What the hell Saki? !"

"You accused me of being jealous the other day. Maybe _you're_ the one who's jealous!"

And thus an unhealthy load of bickering ensued. In the background, you can pick out the groans of the cameraman and various members of the crew along with the director smashing his head on to a wall.

But hey, the show's ratings went up.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for the long wait everyone. School ended and I had a lot of testing to do and prepare for. Life has been stressful in general lately. I'll live. ^_^;<strong>

**Fun fact about how little Shinra got his name: I recently picked up the English release of the Durarara! Manga. At the end of the first volume, there was a page listing all the major characters, and there was a pretty embarrassing typo on Shinra's last name (fixed by the second volume though). I already decided I wanted him to be named Shinra just 'cause I wanted the "What the hell were the odds" lines, but the discovery saved me the trouble of having to come up with a last name out of scratch.**

**In other news, we finally reached 1,000 views. Yay!**

**Well, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please review if there was anything you liked, loved, or hated. ^_^;**


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